Sarcasm not Included

Grinding for Experience: Vol. 1: Emotional response or Admit it, you cried.

2009-06-03T02:14:00.003-05:00

Grinding for Experience: Vol. 1: Emotional response or Admit it, you cried.
I've been playing video games for a long time. My first video game console was when I was five- It was the original Nintendo. I was raised on bits and pixels while other kids were raised on baseballs and play dates. My best friends were Mega Man and Donkey Kong. As I grew older my lover grew deeper. I leveled up from an NES to a Game Boy and Super Nintendo. I would hide my Game Boy under my textbooks during class and play Kirby's Dream Land then go home and Pop Final Fantasy III (read: Final Fantasy VI) into my home console and play the night away. Half a dozen systems and a couple hundred games later- I sit here at my desk wondering to myself why it is that I fell so hard for this interactive media.

Originally, this first installment of my deep look into my one true love was going to be about the magic of video game soundtracks. It was all really well thought out. Then I went and saw Pixar's newest masterpiece, "Up."
Seeing a movie is nothing new for me, but to say the least I had become numb to any sort of real emotion that I am meant to feel from films. They just weren't interesting to me, in an emotional sense. Anyways, ten minutes into Up, I was already tearing up. That movie touched me on a level so deeply that it broke through all my man layers I had built up. Not since Samba’s father died had I felt anything like that during a film.

Let's face it though- video games are not very well known for any garnishing any sort of emotional response out of a player. You don't see many people getting a tear in their eye when they remember Jump man (Mario) finally rescuing Paulina at the end of Donkey Kong. Q-Bert certainly didn't win any awards for best drama. Most modern First-Person Shooters are so bogged down with trash-talking, potty mouthed ten-year-old kids that it dilutes any real story that we are supposed to care for: that's why most of those main characters are faceless, beefy army men who we really can't grow attached too

---Be warned- Here there be spoilers---

The heart wrench is there, folks. Most of you just don't care to notice. I can remember way back to when I was young- The first time I ever shed a tear over a pixilated character. It was a game for the Super Nintendo called Chrono Trigger. You had played through the whole game as this young man thrown into a time-travelling adventure to save the future from an Alien parasite the buried into the planets crust hundreds of years previously. You finally reached the main boss... and he obliterates you. Quite literally. As he lays waste to you team mates and prepares one final attack to destroy everyone. Your main character, which you have controlled through the entire game, jumps in front of the blast and is completely destroyed leaving nothing more than ashes blowing in the wind. I was stunned. I sat there staring at my screen as your main love interest in the game bursts into tears and is dragged away from the battlefield leaving to fight another day.

The Super Nintendo was the place when it came to games throwing out great drama at the player. Take Final Fantasy 6 for example. I could choose any number of great moments: Having to play through being stranded on a deserted island with a man who you consider your father and watching him die a slow, painful death. Being forced to choose to leave one of your friends to die allowing you to escape death. Or possibly my favorite scene- The legendary opera scene. The opera scene is considered one of the most famous sequences in video game history. Experience it for yourself with a re-done audio track featuring actual opera singers. I'll talk more about the song "Aria de Mezzo Carattere" in a later entry, but lets just say there's a reason its considered number 3 on the list of 100 best video game themes. Now that you've seen the scene here's some context- The young lady singing the aria is a member of your team known as General Celes- a magic knight. She dressed as the opera singer in order to lure out a sky pirate in hopes of stealing his ship. You then have to actually perform the opera. You don't just sit there and watch the 20 minute scene- you need to read the script before hand and more or less memorize it and choose the correct lines during the song. While by today's standards this scene might not be as epic as it once was, being brought back into the light of greatness with rose-tinted glasses by the fans of yesteryear, back in the day, a scene like this had never been done before. It quite literally left us breathless.

Final Fantasy has never been one to hold back the emotional punches though. Final Fantasy 4 was filled with great moments of friends being killed in brutal fashions and being tricked into slaughtering an entire village of peaceful civilians. But let’s not forget the one scene that crippled most gamers’ hearts. The death of Aerith from Final Fantasy 7. You spent hours protecting her only to be helpless to stop a mad man from dropping from the sky and impaling her and then... the music. Gamers around the world burst into tears. I remember sitting in my room and having to turn off my television just to try and understand what I had just seen. Never before had a movie or TV show or even a book left me that dumbfounded. I wasn't angry though- that the developers had decided to murder such a sweet character that I had grown to care for seemed right. It worked for the story in a good way it made me want to continue on with the game. To this day I still play through Final Fantasy 7 and feel the same way I did back during my first play through. I'd like to see a movie that can elicit that sort of response.

I could easily go on with these classic masterpieces: I had a whole list of scenes that could easily out drama any prime time television show. I now realize though that all these games I would have talked about are from almost 15 years ago. So, we move on.

As I looked through my modern game collection I realized how much beauty I had missed in some of these current generation games. Lost Odyssey for the Xbox 360 is a more or less looked over game. A fairly old-school styled Role playing game based around an immortal man who has lost his memories and has more or less become emotional void- numb to basic emotions like happiness and love. Then as the game finished establishing his depressed warrior his memories begin to come back in the form of dreams- short stories telling moments of his life. The first of these dreams is a story called "Hannah's Departure" and if you aren't crying by the end of it, then consider yourself dead on the inside. The tale is so bittersweet, that it allows you to completely understand why the main character has become so numb. Most Hollywood producers would kill to get that kind of emotional response out of its viewers now-a-days.

These responses aren't labeled to just role playing games. The entire video game spectrum has moments like this.
Allow me to show my work. First-Person Shooters have Call of Duty 4 and the amazing "Nuke explosion" scene. Action-platformer has Prince of Persia- where you have to carry your partner's lifeless body after she sacrifices herself to seal way the ultimate evil. Survival Horror- Pick up a copy of Fatal Frame for the PS2 and play it with the lights off, at midnight with the volume turned up to max. I have never seen a movie as scary as that game. Even some more intuitive sports games leave you with actual feelings towards the players on your team when you win or lose a big game.

To attempt to make this already long story somewhat shorter, the point I'm trying to make is this: Video games are being given a bad name for no real reason other than the fact that their main audience happens to be the socially awkward. Movies and TV are OK when it comes to getting an emotional response out of its audience, but they just don't stick with you the way some of these classic scenes will go down in history as defining moments in gaming history. Most of you though, won't even give these games a second though before passing them up for a movie. Because you're John Q. Public and like Clark Gable in Gone with the wind you just don't give a damn. Tune in next time where I tell you why Noubu Umeatsu could kick Danny Elfman's ass.

Castle Guard Radio ep: 1

2009-03-14T23:04:00.001-05:00

Well, I'm finally done with one of my projects.

Here for you to enjoy is the first of many episodes of Castle Guard Radio, my video game music podcast.

Once its available on the Itunes store, I'll let you all know.

Click To Play

Here I am.

2009-03-06T01:44:00.001-06:00

To quote a greatly over used statement- the rumors of my demise are greatly overexaggerated.

I am around, I'm just taking a break to work on some of the behind the scenes stuff- designing a website, content playing through the ridiculous amount of new games that came out in February watching movies, working. It's just piling up. So, keep checking back. I'll post content when I remember.

Oscar Thoughts

2009-02-23T15:05:00.004-06:00

Well, the Oscars are over and once again my flawed logic proves to be flawed. I have to say though I wasn't too happy with the way this year's awards turned out.

First of all- Hugh Jackman? Color me confused but why Hugh Jackman. If they were really strapped for someone to host why not go back to Billy Crystal. At least his jokes wouldn't sound forced. I'm sure Steven Colbert could have cleared his schedule, same could be said for John Stewart.
Jackman felt like he was trying to force most of the jokes out and the ones that did work really weren't all that funny. His opening skits for the show pale in comparison to past years video montages and his tribute to musicals was honestly an unnecessary interlude that seems more in place for the sake of padding out the ceremony then for entertaining the masses.

Then there were the presenters. I'm not sure if I'm the only one who felt this way but did anyone else think that having five presenters for the best actor/actress/supportings categories was a bit... too much. It felt like an award ceremony at a little league game, "You're all winners, so just cause you don't take home the biggest trophy don't think you're not totally awesome."
I found some of the pairings of presenters to be forced and uncharismatic. Jen Aniston and Jack Black? Really? Nice Iron Giant reference though. Really, the only presenters that worked well together were Tina Fey and Steve Martin and James Franco and Seth Rogan. Ben Stiller was hysterical though when he was presenting.

The "yearbook" segments they created this year were probably the best part of the show, specifically the Animation and Comedy Montoges. Wall-E giving his reactions to the other films and the Pinapple Express guys throwing some clever stoner humor out at some of the more "presitgious" films was more than enough to make up for what I didn't like about the show this year.

As for who won the awards- I really had to agree with all the winners. With the exception of the Best Actor award, everyone really deserved it. I'm so happy that Slumdog Millionaire took home as many awards as it did. Perhaps now even more people will go see how fabulous this movie really is.

Anyways, I'd give this show a C, maybe a C+ with a little note that says "needs improvement"
It was pretty bad for one of the most anticipated award shows of the year. Though I guess it doesn't matter anyomre. These days more people tune in for the red carpet circus that takes place hours ahead of time. Really, what has this world come to. Well, it's time to start working on next years predictions. I'm rooting for Zac Efron as best actor for 17 again.

This is what dreams are made of.

2009-02-13T12:39:00.002-06:00

Thank's Destructiod.

Movie Trash

2009-02-11T12:44:00.003-06:00

Coraline 3D
Starring: Dakota Fanning, Teri Hatcher, Dawn French, Jennifer Saunders, Ian McShane
Director: Henry Selick

First of all, lets set the record straight- Coraline was not created by Tim Burton. It was created by Neil Gaiman. Coraline was directed by Henry Selick- not by Tim Burton. The only connection Tim Burton has to this film is that he once worked with Henry Selick to create The Nightmare Before Christmas. Tim Burton had nothing to do with this movie- so stop giving him unnecessary praise!
Anyways, Coraline is a great... for Hot Topic (zing). It is a great movie for the 12 and up group. The younger kids might find this movie of a girl who finds her perfect world to be a bit frightening- when Coraline's perfect world turns into a nightmare. So take caution when bringing a younger kid to the theater.
The animation is amazing and as always it reminds me why Henry Selick is the best at what he does. After watching Coraline, I went home and busted out my copy of James and the Giant Peach (a much better movie than Nightmare before Chirstmas imo)
The 3D work for the movie is truely amazing and I honestly couldn't imagine watching this movie in any other format. It just wouldn't feel right.
Overall: If you really liked Coraline- I highly suggest going out and getting some of Neil Gaiman's other works. His Sandman comic is truely amazing and the book "Good Omens" co-written by Terry Pratchett is one of the best books I've ever read. Coraline is a great movie. Go see it.

He's Just Not That Into You
Starring: Ben Affleck, Jennifer Aniston, Drew Barrymore, Jennifer Connelly, Kevin Connolly, Bradley Cooper, Ginnifer Goodwin, Scarlett Johansson, Justin Long, Kris Kristofferson
Director: Ken Kwapis

This is one of those movies that I really wanted to love. It had a great cast and story. The film based on the trailer alone made it out to be the American version of Love Actually; a movie I consider to be one of the best romantic comedies of my generation. Unfortunatly, the movie was not nearly as good as I had hoped. Where as Love Actually managed to give each of its big stars a decent amount of screen time by interconnecting each story, too little time is spent with each character in HJNTIY (acyromn needs work). So little time is spent with each character that they seem to devolve into nothing more than stereotypes. It's really a shame seeing as this cast is so great and I know that they can do better than what was done here.
The film follows various groups of people as they all have to deal with different relationship problems: from men who never call, to the issues of getting married just for the sake of getting married or having trouble meeting straight-men and even the issues of meeting the woman of your dreams after you are already married. It sounds like it should be a great film but it just leaves you wanting more from all the characters. I blame director Ken Kwapis- whose directorial acheivements include Dunston Checks in. There isn't a single movie he has made that I've liked.

Overall: This movie should've been better but honestly it's not going to stop couples on Valentine's day from seeing it. I mean what else is there to see this Saturday- Confessions of a Shopaholic?

Pink Panther 2
Starring: Steve Martin, Jean Reno, Alfred Molina, Emily Mortimer, Aishwarya Rai, Rai Bachchan, Andy Garcia, John Cleese, Lily Tomlin
Director: Harald Zwart

Steve Martin and Jean Reno are far too good of actors to be in this movie- which is why it sucks so much. The jokes are stupid the acting is over done. The scenes are just one slapstick joke after another.
Overall: This movie is full of talent as well as being full of trash. It's awful. The story doesn't make sense and the director should be ashamed of himself for wasting such talent.

Push
Starring: Dakota Fanning, Chris Evans, Camilla Belle, Djimon Hounsou, Neil Jackson, Ming-Na, Cliff Curtis, Nate Mooney, Lu Lu
Director: Paul McGuigan

Did Paul McGuigan really think people wouldn't notice that his movie was completly ripped off from the first season of Heroes. The only difference between this film and Heroes is that the visuals are better and the story is more convaluted.
Overall: this movie is the worst kind of Trash. It's borderline plagerism. Well, maybe thats a bit extreme but this film doesn't deserve me to talk about it anymore.

Perfect.

2009-02-05T01:29:00.001-06:00

Movie Trash

2009-02-03T19:03:00.002-06:00

Well... I'm still not liking the way my reviews are sounding once I'm done typing them... but since there were only three new movies this week I figured I'd post them anyways.

New In Town
Starring: Renée Zellweger, Harry Connick, Siobhan Fallon Hogan, J.K. Simmons
Director: Jonas Elmer

I have a theory about Renee Zellweger. I think that she tries to fool people into not realizing how good of an actress she is by constantly changing how hot she is. For example, she wasn't that good looking in Bridget Jones' Diary and the movie succeeded, along comes Bridget Jones' Diary 2- where Zellweger looked much better, and the movie tanks. She plays the leading lady in Appaloosa and looks... well not so hot... the movie exceeds all expectations. Then New in Town shows up- with a very sexy looking Renee and the movie is terrible. I'm really seeing a pattern here.
Yes, the movie is terrible and yes, Zellweger is very good looking as a high-class exec from Miami who ~~is forced~~ volunteers to go to Small Town, USA (the actual place escapes me right now) to help manage her businesses factory there. Once there "hilarity" ensues- or at least it was supposed to. The movie really fails to bring out the charm of how awkward Zellweger's new life is. Throw in a forced love interest played by Harry Connick Jr and you've got yourself... well a flop. The chemistry just wasn't there this time- which is weird to say since Zellweger is one of those women you could throw with any man and there is bound to be some chemistry floating in the air.
Overall: Your girlfriend/wife will probably love this movie- so if you want some brownie points take them to see this. Otherwise leave it alone- as bad as it is, it really isn't hurting anybody.

Taken
Starring: Liam Neeson, Maggie Grace, Famke Janssen, Xander Berkeley
Director: Pierre Morel

Taken is one of those awesome ass kicking movies that you really just don't see that often anymore. Sure there are the big budget blockbusters but those movies are never really turn out great (with the exception of superhero movies...usually).
The first sign that should show you this movie was going to be awesome- Liam Neeson is the main character. That's really all you need. Imagine how great Episode One of Star Wars would have been if they replaced all the shitty Anikin parts with just scenes of Liam Neeson sipping tea. It would defiantly be more exciting then that movie and Episode Two combined.
Anyways, now that my Liam Neeson fanboyism is out of the way- Taken is a decently entertaining film. It tells you exactly whats going to happen. An Ex-spies' daughter is kidnapped in Europe and he has to use all his old abilities to save her. There. That's the story- now enjoy Neeson kicking people's throats in. Actually, the scenes where Neeson uses his more aggressive abilities were pretty brutal for a pg-13 movie. It makes me wonder what the director could have done if he had made it an R-rated movie.
Overall: You're getting what you pay for here- a not entirely intelligent spy-flick that doesn't use the names Bond or Bourne. It'll probably end up on SpikeTV shortly after it hits DVD so if you don't want to spend money on it, you can wait. I would highly recommend going to see it though.

The Uninvited
Starring: Emily Browning, Elizabeth Banks, Arielle Kebbel, David Strathairn
Director: Guard Brothers

Nope. Not even going to bother touching this one.

Overall: Yeah, it is that bad.

enjoy

2009-01-30T09:43:00.001-06:00

my 2009 oscar predictions

2009-01-30T02:34:00.001-06:00

The Oscars are always a time of passive-aggressive joy for me. Where other people would take days off to spend holidays with their families, I take time off to watch the consistently running-long awards. I sit and yell at the screen as actor's who clearly deserve the award are denied for silly reasons beyond my, or anyone Else's, understanding. So, when it comes time to choose who I think is going to win, I made a list of rules to follow so I can hopefully make all the right calls.
So without further ado- here are my calls as to who's going to take home the little naked man-statues this year.

Best Actor: Mickey Rourke for The Wrestler. Why: Because he deserves it, dammit. He was fantastic and much like Heath Ledger as the Joker, no one knew how great of a performance he was really going to give. The only reason he might not win- Brad Pitt is cuter.

Best Supporting Actor: Heath Ledger for The Dark Knight.
Why: Because you don't nominate a dead guy and then don't give it to him- that's just a dick move.

Best Actress: Meryl Streep For Doubt
Why: As much as I'd like to give it too Anne Hathaway (the most beautiful actress in Hollywood.) Doubt is probably the only movie listed that actually deserves an Oscar.

Best Supporting Actress: Penelope Cruz for Vicky Christina Barcelona
Why: Because that was the best damn Woody Allen movie in a long time and none of you saw it.

Best Animated Feature: Kung Fu Panda
Why: Shocker right, how could i choose a panda over Wall-E? Well, because Wall-E is a masterpiece and its almost unfair to try and compare it to other animated movies. Therefore it transcends the awards and Kung Fu Panda wins by default.
Honestly, Wall-E should be in the best picture category- but instead we got two bio-pics and a movie about Kate Winslet having sex with a 15-year-old.

Best Animated Short: Presto
Why: Because its the only one made by Pixar.

Best Directing: Slumdog Millionaire
Why: Because if you didn't see this movie- you're stupid and you should feel bad about yourself. Come back and talked to me once you've seen it.

Best Foreign Language Film: Waltz With Bashir
Why: Because you haven't heard of any of these movies and most of you will be in the kitchen getting snacks during this award anyways.

Best Music (Score): Wall-E
Why: Because it's the only movie nominated that relied more on it's score than on it's dialogue.

Best Music (Song) Wall-E "Down to Earth"
Why: Because its a damn good song and the the only one on my Ipod.

Best Picture: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Why: Because David Fincher is a genius and made a movie more interesting than Slumdog Millionaire, which should have won the award.

Best Writing (Adapted Screenplay): The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Why: Because it's the only movie on the list that probably made more sense by having a visual aid.

Best Writing (Original Screenplay): Wall-E
Why: Because you all better get on your knees and pray to whatever diety or rock you pray to that we get another amazingly original story like Wall-E in 2009.

There you have it- my half-baked predictions for this year's three-hour waste of time. Maybe this year I'll be right... but I doubt it. I guess I just get started on next year's half-baked predictions.

I think Wall-e and Slumdog Millionaire should cage battle for best picture,
Marc

Movie trash... trashy edition.

2009-01-28T21:10:00.000-06:00

You know what... screw it.

Every time I try to write a review for one of these movies I have to catch up on, it just doesn't come out the way I want it.

So, here's the short list.

Go see The Wrestler if you don't have kids.

Go see Inkheart if you are with kids.

As for the rest- with the exception of Hotel for Dogs and Paul Blart Mall Cop- they are all decent movies. Not great but decent.

hopefully this block I'm going through will be gone soon.

Cheers,
Marc

Trailer: Mario and Luigi RPG 3

2009-01-28T16:09:00.002-06:00

I've always enjoyed the humor of the Mario RPG games. This new entry into the series seems to not disappoint.

Hopefully, my attention span will let me finish my movie reviews before tomorrow.

Makes me want to play Super Mario RPG again,
Marc

Consider this a placeholder.

2009-01-28T00:29:00.002-06:00

So, my dad was weird.

Gave up looking for my notebook and bought a new one- $1 at the Borders outlet :|

As a result of my weird day, I'm only half done with my ridiculously long post of movie reviews from this week and last week.

So consider this a place holder until I wake up.

Listening to you bitches whine and whining like a bitch,
Marc

Trailer: Star Ocean: The Last Hope

2009-01-26T10:12:00.002-06:00

I've been a fan of the Star Ocean series since Star Ocean 2 was released for the original PlayStation. So you can imagine the excitement I must feel for the newest entry in the series.

Let's just hope this game has a better ending than Star Ocean 3.

Playing older J-RPG's to pass the time,
Marc

... whut?

2009-01-25T10:11:00.002-06:00

Thanks, Destructiod, for finding a way to ruin my childhood.

Those jokes would have been funnier if they were rated-R,
Marc

Review: The Maw

2009-01-23T23:58:00.003-06:00

So, I still haven't been able to find my notebook, but that's ok- because I found a quaint little game that was released for Xbox live arcade.

The Maw
System: Xbox360 (Live Arcade)
Developer: Twisted Pixel
Release Date: 1-22-08
Genre: adventure-platformer

The Maw was the winner the of the Audience choice award at PAX10. I can understand why. I downloaded this game late last night and I've already played through it. It's beyond fantastic. If there was a game out there that could bridge the gap between casual game and core game, The Maw would be it. What is essentially just a large fetch quest- The Maw has players controlling "Frank. A small alien who is captured by some larger aliens. The ship crashes and Frank finds himself on a planet with a small purple blob called The Maw. Becoming friends, Frank leads The Maw around with an electric leash that he can also use to pull objects and throw small animals into The Maws mouth. The object of the game is to drag The Maw to other animals on the planet and feed him. As he eats he gets bigger. That's it basically.
Certain animals give The Maw special abilities like fire breathing or flight or my personal favorite laser eyes. Actually the laser eyes are fantastic not because its a great ability but because Frank rides on top of The Maw and every time he shoots, Frank throws up his arms in excitement- its pretty fantastic.
Actually, for an Xbox live arcade game- the characters are all surprising well designed. The Maw and Frank both have wonderful personalities. More so than most high budget video game characters. If there characters didn't have as much personality as they do- this game wouldn't nearly be worth the 800 points.
The Maw doesn't feel like much, but what you think it lacks, it makes up in over all entertainment. This is a fun, entertaining, easy to play and easy to enjoy game. If you don't go and download this game right now- you're seriously missing out.
Go buy this game- if only because I want to see what other wonderful games Twisted Pixel will put out.

Ok- heres whats going on.

2009-01-22T17:02:00.000-06:00

So here's the problem:

My memory is really weird- I can remember every movie and video game I've ever played. If I want to comment on them though I need to be able to write them down on paper. So I carry this little note book with me that I write all the rough drafts of my blogs in.
Well, lost that notebook last night- along with all my reviews.
So, hopefully I'll be able to find the book at work tomorrow so I can type up like- three days worth of posts tomorrow night. Cause that would be excellent.

Have some respect for someone more forgetful than yourself,
Marc

Yes I can.

2009-01-20T16:59:00.000-06:00

No post really for today- because Obama is now president and I decided that it was time for a change- also I haven't finished watching all the new movies this week. I'll be seeing Paul Blart: Mall Cop tomorrow and then I'll promptly post up some reviews for you all.

Spent most of his shift at work singing Disney songs,
Marc

Trailer: Flower

2009-01-19T20:14:00.013-06:00

Flower is one of those games that is almost indescribable. It looks like more like a screen saver than it does a game- it could almost be described as an anti-game. What it is and what it looks like though are two completely different things. With graphics that can only be described as breathtaking and a hauntingly beautiful score, Flower looks to be one of the most interesting games to come out in Q1 of 2009. Take a look at a few of the trailers- provided by Gametrailers.com

I know I can say that I'm looking forward to this PS3/PSN exclusive coming out soon- hopefully.

Wants his life's soundtrack to be that beautiful,
Marc

... whut?

2009-01-17T15:41:00.000-06:00

have a happy weekend.

2009-01-16T19:47:00.001-06:00

Well the weekend is here.

Enjoy this trailer of a really amazing movie.

It's even a Red-Band.

Later.

Movie Trash- Late Edition

2009-01-14T19:44:00.002-06:00

So, I know I'm a little late this week- but if I explained why you would understand that its OK.

Bride Wars
Starring: Kate Hudson, Anne Hathaway, Kristen Johnson, Bryan Greenberg, Candice Bergen
Director: Gary Winick

Lazy is a good way to describe this movie- The writer's were lazy, the actor's were lazy and the director was lazy. What I mean by all this is that it feels like everyone involved with this movie really just phoned it in.
They went for the easy jokes, they went for the easy sight-gags, easily resolved story. It was very clear that this movie was nothing more than a studio trying to cash in on the lack of a chick flick comedy in theaters.
The movie follows the story of two very beautiful women (Hudson and Hathaway) who decided to make a quick buck by playing two best friends who plan to have their weddings at the same place on different days. Due to... plot devices... both weddings are planned for the same day and one of them has to change the location of the wedding. As each woman tries to get the other to change their date by throwing various shenanigans at each other. Apparently, hilarity then ensued. I remain pretty confident that no actual hilarity happened.
The main problem with this movie is that it took a concept made popular on T.V. (Bridezillas) and then tried to make a movie out of it. The formula isn't new- but it's clear that it only works when its a show that people actually like.
Overall: This movie is awful- but the studio got what it wanted because it is the only chick flick comedy in theaters right now so people are going to see it. If it was up to me- it would end up in the trash with the rest of the floor popcorn.

Not Easily Broken
Starring: Morris Chestnut, Taraji P. Henson, Kevin Hart, Eddie Cibrian, Jenifer Lewis, Maeve Quinlan, Wood Harris
Director: Bill Duke

Basically, this is a Tyler Perry movie without Tyler Perry. Actually thinking of this now- I wish I wasn't so anal about putting the movies in Alphabetical order- otherwise this review would follow Revolutionary Road- basically because they are the same movie, except that this movie has a black cast and doesn't make you want to kill yourself after the movie is over; but that's a different review.
Here's the thing- movies like this are a dime a dozen. The only difference with this movie is that it isn't a Tyler Perry movie. That's really it. You could interchange it with any other movie like this in the past few years and you wouldn't even notice a difference.

Overall: It's going to make money, Black family dramas always do. This movie isn't good, it isn't bad- its just the same thing we've seen over and over again. Unless you are the target audience for this movie, I suggest skipping it.

The Reader
Starring: Kate Winslet, Ralph Fiennes, David Kross, Lena Olin, Bruno Ganz
Director: Stephen Daldry

So, I already gave a small review of this last week. So, I'm just going to sum it up for you. This movie is about Kate Winslet having sex with a 15 year old. They read books with each other and years later Winslet is arrested for being an S.S. agent and only the guy she used to sleep with (the 15 year old) can help her.

Overall: Kate Winslet carries this movie with a great performance, but this movie didn't deserve any awards. It was clearly just looking to sway the academy to give it an award and it isn't worth your money. Some one seems to like it though, so maybe I'm wrong. In my opinion though- trash it.

Revolutionary Road
Starring: Leonardo DiCaprio, Kate Winslet, Michael Shannon, Kathryn Hahn, David Harbour, Kathy Bates
Director: Sam Mendes

This movie was an awful sequel to Titanic. They don't even explain how Leo came back from the dead. I kid. What I'm not going to kid about is how freaking depressing this movie is. You will sit through this entire movie and by the end of it- you'll want to kill yourself. Did I miss the memo that said it was OK for a movie- a means of entertainment- was allowed be so sad and depressing that it ruins any of the entertainment value of the film?
This movie was supposed to be a big deal- the return of the Leonardo DiWinslet duo. You know what though- their first movie together- was terrible. I will stand here and argue to the ends of the earth how Titanic is a unnecessarily long, depressingly sad, unoriginal, overacted piece of crap that didn't deserve any of the money it made. The only reason it was so "revolutionary" was because of the love story which was as contrived as it was pointless.
This movie is just as bad- intense and well acted- but so unnecessarily depressing that it takes away any and all entertainment value from the viewer.
The movie follows DiCaprio and Winslet as a married couple in 1950's America. The audience then proceeds to watch and feel the need to cut themselves as the marriage rages on a destructive path of dysfunction that leaves you unbelievably depressed. Unnecessarily so. Anyways it follows their awful lives as they try to go about there business putting up a front as a functional family in a day and age where being a good, loving family is the norm.

Overall: How the hell did this movie win a Golden Globe- it seriously makes you feel awful once the movie is over. I hated it. I will at admit the movie is well made and well acted, but that doesn't make up for its overly depressing story. I'm going to say trash this film, but I'm sure no one will listen to me now that it's award winning.

The Unborn
Starring: Odette Yustman, Gary Oldman, Meagan Good, Idris Elba, Cam Gigandet, James Remar, Jane Alexander
Director: David Goyer

Stick to Batman movies, David Goyer. Did anyone think this movie was going to be good? Sure it was written and directed by Goyer; but it was produced by Michael Bay (a name synonymous with utter crap.) Based off an old Jewish folktale, The Unborn follows the story of a young girl who becomes the "door" for the ghost of her twin brother who died while they were still in the womb. That's basically all you need to know about the movie, because after the initial plot is put out there for the audience, the movie basically devolves into another exorcism movie- or rather a poor imitation of an exorcism movie.
Like I said- did anyone think this movie would be good? The only thing going for it in the cast is Gary Oldman. Here was the main clue that this movie would be shit- it's pg-13. That basically dictates that this movie isn't a horror movie. It's a movie that will pander to the little middle schoolers to cheat them out of $9.50.

Overall: This movie is trash- you shouldn't even bother asking about it at the theater. Go see a good movie instead- like Slumdog Millionaire or The Wrestler. Whatever you do though, do not- I repeat- do not waste your money on this steamy pile of feces.

Be right back

2009-01-14T12:43:00.000-06:00

I swear I have some reviews for you- both movie and games. I'm just dealing with a lot going on right now over the past few days.
Be back later tonight.

Review: Castle Crashers

2009-01-12T19:17:00.004-06:00

Castle Crashers
System: Xbox 360 (Xbox Live Arcade)
Developer: The Behemoth
Publisher: The Behemoth
Release Date: 08/27/08
Genre: Beat 'em up

I wasn't able to connect to Xbox live until recently thanks to the Wireless Network Adapter I received for my birthday. The first game I went and downloaded was probably the single best game available for XBLA- Castlevania: Symphony of the Night. Then I went and got a few other great games: Braid, Penny Arcade Adventures, Street Fighter 2 Turbo HD Remix. I actually put off buying Castle Crashers despite all the praise I had heard of it. There was no real reason behind me putting it off. I was just distracted by other games, work and everything else. Finally, after beating a few other games I had been putting off- Persona 4- I downloaded Castle Crashers and pressed start.

My god, I can't believe what a great game this is. I've been a fan of creator Tom Fulp's work since the early days of Alien Hominid, before it was on consols when it was just a little flash game on Newgrounds. I enjoyed Alien Hominid, but I never thought it was that great of a game. Maybe that was why I put off playing this game. The only real information I had on Castle Crashers was what I had heard from the regular gaming news outlets.

As soon as I pressed start I was thrown into a world of awesomeness. At its core the game is just a hack'n'slash beat 'em up. Castle Crashers makes up for it's retro-style of game play with a charm of its own that just draws the player into it and never lets go. Retro is a good word to use for this game. Everything about it feels retro, from it's story (save the princesses from the evil wizard) to even it's 2-D sidescrolling levels. Maybe its that retro-charm that makes the game so great though. With so many games focusing on realistic graphics and stories- Nothing makes me happier than to play something so... unrealistic again.

But all is not great in the land of sunshine and puppy dogs. The targeting in the game could use some serious work. sometimes being only a pixel off could result in not hitting one of the dozen enemies usually on screen. For completionists- this game can be a bit jarring. With over 20 characters, this game can become a little tiring to try and beat it with all the characters. When it comes to the on-line multiplayer- it seems kind of hard to get a "good" game going if you don't have any friends on-line to play with. Most people seem to kick you before the game even begins.

Overall: I love Castle Crashers. As a completionist myself, I'll be playing this game for a long, long time. I'm not too positive on this- but this game might be the most fun I've had playing a game for awhile. I highly suggest you go and download it. Then add me as a friend on XBL.

Anyways, two more game reviews this week.
Night.

three reviews later tonight.

2009-01-12T15:41:00.001-06:00

I'm having some issues right now with my Ipod and then I have to run some errands, but later tonight I'll be posting three New reviews for Castle Crashers (XBLA), Rune Factory 2 (DS) and Harvest Moon: Island of Happiness (DS)

So stop back in later tonight.

An open letter from "Watchmen" producer

2009-01-09T00:01:00.003-06:00

I don't know how many of you know what is going on with the Watchmen movie, so I'll sum it up for you. The movie is being produced by Warner Bros. Fox apparently is suing them saying they hold the copy-right for the I.P. Fox however has invested no money into the project and wants to receive all the spoils. There is a big legal battle going on right now who's verdict with be reached January 20th, though as of now- it seems that Fox is going to win this battle.

Yesterday, website HitFix offered one of the movies producers, Lloyd Levin, a space to pen an open letter on his thoughts on the whole situation. I highly suggest reading this to the end and then wishing Lloyd and his associates the best no matter what happens with their little bundle of joy.

"Watchmen. A producer's perspective.

An open letter.

Who is right? In the Watchmen dispute between Warner Brothers and Fox that question is being discussed, analyzed, argued, tried and ruled on in a court of law. That's one way to answer the question - It is a fallback position in our society for parties in conflict to resolve disputes. And there are teams of lawyers and a highly regarded Federal Judge trying to do just that, which obviates any contribution I could make towards answering the "who is right" question within a legal context. But after 15 plus years of involvement in the project, and a decade more than that working in the movie business, I have another perspective, a personal perspective that I believe important to have on the public record.

No one is more keenly aware of the irony of this dispute than Larry Gordon and I who have been trying to get this movie made for many years. There's a list of people who have rejected the viability of a movie based on Alan Moore and Dave Gibbon's classic graphic novel that reads like a who's who of Hollywood.

We've been told the graphic novel is unfilmable.

After 9/11 some felt the story's themes were too close to reality ever to be palatable to a mainstream audience.

There were those who considered the project but who wished it were somehow different: Could it be a buddy movie, or a team-up movie or could it focus on one main character; did it have to be so dark; did so many people have to die; could it be stripped of its flashback structure; could storylines be eliminated; could new storylines be invented; did it have to be so long; could the blue guy put clothes on... The list of dissatisfactions for what Watchmen is was as endless as the list of suggestions to make it something it never was.

Also endless are the list of studio rejections we accrued over the years. Larry and I developed screenplays at five different studios. We had two false starts in production on the movie. We were involved with prominent and commercial directors. Big name stars were interested. In one instance hundreds of people were employed, sets were being built - An A-list director and top artists in the industry were given their walking papers when the studio financing the movie lost faith.

After all these years of rejection, this is the same project, the same movie, over which two studios are now spending millions of dollars contesting ownership. Irony indeed, and then some.

Through the years, inverse of the lack of studio faith has been the passionate belief by many many individuals - movie professionals who were also passionate fans of the graphic novel - who, yes, wanted to work on the film, but more for reasons of just wanting to see the movie get made, to see this movie get made and made right, donated their time and talent to help push the film forward: Writers gave us free screenplay drafts; conceptual art was supplied by illustrators, tests were performed gratis by highly respected actors and helped along and put together by editors, designers, prop makers and vfx artists; we were the recipients of donated studio and work space, lighting and camera equipment. Another irony, given the commercial stakes implied by the pitched legal dispute between Fox and Warners, is that for years Watchmen has been a project that has survived on the fumes of whatever could be begged, borrowed and stolen - A charity case for all intents and purposes. None of that effort, none of that passion and emotional involvement, is considered in the framework of this legal dispute.

From my point of view, the flashpoint of this dispute, came in late spring of 2005. Both Fox and Warner Brothers were offered the chance to make Watchmen. They were submitted the same package, at the same time. It included a cover letter describing the project and its history, budget information, a screenplay, the graphic novel, and it made mention that a top director was involved.

And it's at this point, where the response from both parties could not have been more radically different.

The response we got from Fox was a flat "pass." That's it. An internal Fox email documents that executives there felt the script was one of the most unintelligible pieces of shit they had read in years. Conversely, Warner Brothers called us after having read the script and said they were interested in the movie - yes, they were unsure of the screenplay, and had many questions, but wanted to set a meeting to discuss the project, which they promptly did. Did anyone at Fox ask to meet on the movie? No. Did anyone at Fox express any interest in the movie? No. Express even the slightest interest in the movie? Or the graphic novel? No.

From there, the executives at Warner Brothers, who weren't yet completely comfortable with the movie, made a deal to acquire the movie rights and we all started to creatively explore the possibility of making Watchmen. We discussed creative approaches and started offering the movie to directors, our former director having moved on by then. After a few director submissions, Zack Snyder came onboard, well before the release of his movie 300. In fact, well before its completion. This was a gut, creative call by Larry, me and the studio... Zack didn't have a huge commercial track record, yet we all felt he was the right guy for the movie.

Warner Brothers continued to support, both financially and creatively, the development of the movie. And eventually, after over a year of work, they agreed to make the film, based on a script that, for what it's worth, was by and large very similar to the one Fox initially read and deemed an unintelligible piece of shit.

Now here's the part that has to be fully appreciated, if for nothing more than providing insight into producing movies in Hollywood: The Watchmen script was way above the norm in length, near 150 pages, meaning the film could clock in at close to 3 hours, the movie would not only be R rated but a hard R - for graphic violence and explicit sex - would feature no stars, and had a budget north of $100M. We also asked Warner Brothers to support an additional 1 to 1.5 hours of content incurring additional cost that would tie in with the movie but only be featured in DVD iterations of the film. Warners supported the whole package and I cannot begin to emphasize how ballsy and unprecedented a move this was on the part of a major Hollywood studio. Unheard of. And would another studio in Hollywood, let alone a studio that didn't show one shred of interest in the movie, not one, have taken such a risk? Would they ever have made such a commitment, a commitment to a film that defied all conventional wisdom?

Only the executives at Fox can answer that question. But if they were to be honest, their answer would have to be "No."

Shouldn't Warner Brothers be entitled to the spoils - if any -- of the risk they took in supporting and making Watchmen? Should Fox have any claim on something they could have had but chose to neither support nor show any interest in?

Look at it another way... One reason the movie was made was because Warner Brothers spent the time, effort and money to engage with and develop the project. If Watchmen was at Fox the decision to make the movie would never have been made because there was no interest in moving forward with the project.

Does a film studio have the right to stand in the way of an artistic endeavor and determine that it shouldn't exist? If the project had been sequestered at Fox, if Fox had any say in the matter, Watchmen simply wouldn't exist today, and there would be no film for Fox to lay claim on. It seems beyond cynical for the studio to claim ownership at this point.

By his own admission, Judge Feess is faced with an extremely complex legal case, with a contradictory contractual history, making it difficult to ascertain what is legally right. Are there circumstances here that are more meaningful, which shed light on what is ultimately just, to be taken into account when assessing who is right? In this case, what is morally right, beyond the minutiae of decades-old contractual semantics, seems clear cut.

For the sake of the artists involved, for the hundreds of people, executives and filmmakers, actors and crew, who invested their time, their money, and dedicated a good portion of their lives in order to bring this extraordinary project to life, the question of what is right is clear and unambiguous - Fox should stand down with its claim.

My father, who was a lawyer and a stickler for the minutiae of the law, was always quick to teach me that the determination of what is right and wrong was not the sole purview of the courts. I bet someone at Fox had a parent like mine who instilled the same sense of fairness and justice in them.

Lloyd Levin"

Movie Trash- Feelin' lucky edition.

2009-01-08T10:29:00.004-06:00

So, I went out and saw Gran Torino earlier this week while it was still in limited release (nation-wide release this Friday). I decided that while I have a minute or two, I'll give you a review.

Gran Torino
Starring: Clint Eastwood, Christopher Carley, Bee Vang, Ahney Her, Geraldine Hughes, Dreama Walker, Brian Howe, John Carroll Lynch, Scott Reeves
Director: Clint Eastwood

I'm not going to beat around the bush- this movie feels like you're watching a Dirty Harry movie. At least it did for me. I saw that because it felt the same- a good mix of action and humor with a few "thought provoking" moments.

It's never a question if Eastwood is going to deliver in a movie- he almost always brings his A-game. Eastwood has made if very clear that not only is he one of the best actors around he is also one of the best directors. It's clear that in Gran Torino, Eastwood copied some ideas that he used from Million Dollar Baby, basing his character, Walt, as an aged man who doesn't like letting people. Let's face it though, that kind of character works for Eastwood, so I'm not complaining.

Honestly, compared to some of the epic dramas Eastwood has come out with in the past few years, Torino is only... above average... not great. It's a wonderful movie, especially when compared to all the crap that's out now. Even though I know that "The Unborn" is going to take the number one spot at the box office, it should go to Gran Torino.

Overall: Gran Torino is a wonderfully entertaining movie, that probably wont get the attention that it really deserves. Hopefully, like Changeling last year, Torino will get more attention through word of mouth. I know I'm going to push people to go see it.

Miss the 1up podcasts?

2009-01-08T10:24:00.002-06:00

A little update to yesterday's news of the 1up firings and closing of EGM. Some of the big names from the 1up pod casts went out last night and started up a new pod cast
over at Eat.Sleep.Game.com
It's a little raw and new right now but it's tons of fun to listen to so I suggest going over there right now and listening to it.

If the moon was made of BBQ ribs, would you eat it?

2009-01-07T12:04:00.005-06:00

Greg, I see your Harry Caray and I raise you some cow bell

SNL Cowbell - video powered by Metacafe

twitter?

2009-01-07T11:45:00.001-06:00

Well, I don't really get the appeal of it, but I made a Twitter Account.

http://twitter.com/AbsoluteMarc

I'll update it from time to time so go follow me... or whatever.

100th post. updated

2009-01-07T09:49:00.003-06:00

Here’s a proverbial punch to the crotch for any fan of video games.As of today, EGM, as it was known, has been shut down.
This morning it the news was released that magazine publisher Ziff Davis was sold to UGO. Along with the sale went the 1up network a popular gaming website and legendary magazine, Electronic Gaming Monthly- perhaps you've heard of it in it's 15 years of publication. It survived against a strong stream of competition, including the GameStop promoted- Game Informer, for a long time and usually came out on top; but the economic recession hits everyone eventually. Rumors of the buyout have been around for months, but apparently the death of the magazine was kept a tight-lipped secret until this morning.

For the longest time it was the only gaming magazine around. It was possibly one of the greatest staffs out there; some of whom still work for the 1up network. But the casualties were great and a lot of good journalists and good people lost their jobs.

Here's the full list, thanks to Joystiq

EGM was personally my favorite in the game magazines rack. It has been ever since the early 90's when I first started to receive them. I started gaming the same year that the very first EGM was released. In a way, I owe a lot to EGM for inspiring me to become the game journalist I eventually want to become. Even today, I follow 1up.com as one of my main sources of gaming news because I trust their opinions. I listened to their podcasts on ITunes, wrote letters to the editor and even occasionally posted comments on the site. In fact I listened to a great podcast last night that included some of the people that had been fired. In retrospect... it’s really sad... seeing as they were talking about how ’09 was going to be such a great year.

An article like this is a little odd for me, I'm a firm believer in "if it's their time to go, so be It." but this… if you could hear a hush fall over the internet… it would be because of this. It was if every forum troll and blog poster knew that this is the end of an era. I can only wish all of you who were laid off the best. I wish I could help you more, but unfortunately I am just a voice on the internet. Shine on you crazy diamonds- I know all of you land on your feet somewhere great.
On a bit of a bittersweet note- despite the knowledge of their closure; the staff of EGM put together one final issue that will be shipping later this month.
Make sure to grab a copy and read this great magazine’s final thoughts.

Hey

2009-01-06T16:27:00.003-06:00

Sorry for the absence the past few days, I'm working on beating some of the games that I've been putting off.

Haven't even had a chance to see the newest movie (The Reader). Not sure if I actually will see that one. I hear that besides a great performance by Kate Winslet, the movie really has nothing to offer. I honestly think that it's a last minute attempt to get an Oscar nomination.

whatever. Better post tomorrow.

well...

2009-01-02T11:13:00.003-06:00

today's my birthday. I'm taking a break- check ya' next week, fellow asshats.

3 movies that proove 2009 will suck

2008-12-31T20:27:00.004-06:00

Well, its not even the new year yet and already I'm finding movies that are going to make 2009 look awful.

First Piece of Evidence: Crank: High Voltage.
If you missed out on the first Crank a few years ago, it was your typical high octane action movie starring Jason Statham as a hitman who was injected with some drug that would basically cause his heart to stop. To keep himself alive he had to do ridiculous stunts in order to keep his adrenaline pumping and his heart working. The movie started by showing you Statham's character falling from a helicopter to his death, thats also how the movie ends. Crank 2: electric boogaloo starts with you learning that apperently falling hundreds of feet from a helicopter doesn't necesarrily kill you. Also apperently now instead of keeping himself alive with adreniline- he's moved up to electricy. I dunno. I just looks shitty. Just look for yourself.

Second piece of evidence: Dragonball Evolution
If you haven't heard of Dragonball, you've probably been living under a rock. Dragonball Evolution is the current name for the US Live-action movie. It didn't even make it to pre-production before people were making fun of how awful it was going to be. Now the trailer is finally out and it looks just as awful as people thought it would be.
look if you don't believe me.

All the evidence I need: G-Force.

I'm not even going to describe it. I'm just going to show you this picture.

Movie Trash

2008-12-30T21:50:00.000-06:00

Bedtime Stories
Starring: Adam Sandler, Keri Russell, Guy Pearce, Richard Griffiths, Courteney Cox, Lucy Lawless, Teresa Palmer, Russell Brand, Aisha Tyler, Jonathan Pryce
Director: Adam Shankman

Adam Sandler has come a long way from his days as a retarded screw-up (see: Billy Madison) If anyone had asked me back when Happy Gilmore came out if I could ever see Sandler doing a Disney movie, I would have laughed and then slapped them; probably with some sort of fish. But now we have Bedtime Stories, a movie about Sandler telling stories to kids and then the stories come true... sort of.
Overall, it was a pretty decent kids film enough color and movement to keep the little ones entertained with enough funny to keep the older kids laughing and the parents awake. If there is anything good about this movie its that Sandler has once again shown that you can basically throw him into any role about a white guy and he can pull it off.

Overall: This movie is a pretty good placeholder for Sandler fans while they wait for next years "Funny People". If you need something to do with the kids go see this. It's better than taking the little ones to Marley and Me at least.

Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Starring: Brad Pitt, Cate Blanchett, Taraji P. Henson, Tilda Swinton, Jason Flemyng, Elias Koteas, Julia Ormond, Peter Badalamenti
Director: David Fincher

This review is a bit biased... I won't lie about it. I'm a huge David Fincher fan boy. Seven is easily in my top five best movies. Fight club not so much, but that's another story. Anyways, if it seems I'm giving this movie a little too much praise, then I probably am. Benjamin Button is one of those really... interesting films. It's one of those movies where you hear the plot in a summery and go "Wtf?" Honestly, when I first heard about it, I thought the movie was going to tank in the box office. A movie about a person who is born as an 80-year old man and ages backwards sounds just a bit too strange for John Q. Public. Not to mention that it clocks in at just under 3 hours.
Don't let those facts steer you away from this movie though. Fincher once again shows how great he is at storytelling with this movie. Though long, the movie draws you in so well that you don't even notice the time passing. Brad Pitt, as he has been in the past few years, again shows how fantastic of an actor he really is. I talk with a lot of people who say that they won't even bother with a Pitt movie just because he's in it. Every time I hear that I cringe a little. To think that these people are so close-minded that they wouldn't even bother watching something as great as Seven or Snatch. If you think that because he gets a lot of publicity in the celeb mags he isn't a good actor then you're an idiot. To hate on him because he has good looks and talent is not a good reason to ignore his great movies.

Overall: Before I go on a rant here let me sum up my feelings for this movie. Its fun and original and it may scare away some people from seeing it- don't let it though. This movie is totally worth the price of the ticket.

Doubt
Starring: Meryl Streep, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Amy Adams, Viola Davis
Director: John Patrick Shanley

Doubt, I had doubt about seeing Doubt. That doubt faded after watching Doubt but I doubt that I'll ever watch Doubt again. Ok, enough of that.

Doubt was a movie I had very little interest in seeing. I'm not a fan of Amy Adams or Meryl Streep, and my love of Phillip Seymour Hoffman wasn't enough to make me interested in this film. I'm glad I did take the time to see it though. The movie is filled with great performances by all of its high named actors. The story is intense and leaves with a feeling of bittersweet over how every thing is resolved in the end. Intense is probably the best word for describing Doubt's plot; mostly because that was the word people used to describe it as they left the theater. I won't lie about it... you really need to be in the right mindset for this movie. If I had been a little less interested this movie would have almost immediately put me to sleep. So take caution when going to see this, bring caffeine.

Overall: I think it takes a specific type of person to really enjoy doubt. I enjoyed it but only because I appreciate the little things. Go see it, its good. You might want to hold off though on picking up a copy on DVD when it comes out- this really isn't a good movie to watch more than once.

Marley and Me
Starring: Owen Wilson, Jennifer Aniston, Eric Dane, Alan Arkin, Kathleen Turner
Director: David Frankel

In the words of everyone's favorite fishheaded admiral, "IT'S A TRAP!" I'm warning you know- This is not a happy, fun dog movie- make sure that if you bring a little kid to this movie that they are old enough to not burst into tears when something incredibly sad happens... if they aren't old enough for that, take them to Bedtime Stories.
OK, So Marley is an adorable dog that causes all sorts of mayhem... that's about it... the entire plot. It's simple and easy and would have made for a decently good dog-comedy. Unfortunately, the movie is very hit and miss when it comes to the jokes and relies more on the audience laughter carrying on from joke to joke rather than delivering jokes that all get a good laugh.
On the drama side of things, Marley really doesn't do much. It sort of reminded me of the old television show M.A.S.H. A joke here and there and then you kill the mood with something dramatic, usually out of left field.
If I have to say anything good about about Marley is that it does have a really good cast. Wilson and Arkin are always great at what they do and its good to see Aniston back on the screen. I just wish they were all in a better movie.

Overall: Don't take little kids who are impressionable to this movie- it may scar them for life. Sort of like what Bambi did to my generation when we were little kids.

The Spirit
Starring: Eva Mendes, Scarlett Johansson, Samuel L. Jackson, Gabriel Macht, Sarah Paulson, Dan Lauria, Paz Vega, Jaime King
Director: Frank Miller

I wanted this movie to be good so much. I'm fighting back right now trying to convince myself what was good about the movie was good enough to call the movie good. I fight back though. This movie is bad... plain and simple. The acting is over the top. The story is barely understandable since characters are poorly established. The the visuals just aren't as good as movies like 300 and Sin City. Jackson does show however that he would have made a great Joker- seeing as he plays The Octopus as the Joker. It seems like Miller was trying to do too many genres at once and they all sort of imploded on each other. This movie could be classified as a superhero-crime drama-film noir- romantic Dramedy- Highlander film. I blame some of the fault on poor casting- Gaberial Macht is a mediocre actor at best and despite the fact that he may look like the movies title character from the comic doesn't mean he can act like him.
If anything was good, the movie did have the same sort of over the top feel that the comic had.

Overall: Will Eisner must be rolling in his grave right now over the state of this movie. I just hope Miller's next project, Buck Rodgers isn't this bad.

Valkyrie
Starring: Tom Cruise, Kenneth Branagh, Bill Nighy, Terence Stamp, Tom Wilkinson, Eddie Izzard, Kevin McNally, Carice Van Houten
Director: Bryan Singer

Bryan Singer.... I heart you, but dammit you've been making bad decisions when it comes to movies. First you choose Superman Returns over X-men 3 ruining both series instead of ending the X-men trilogy out right. and then you cast Tom Cruise to play a German Nazi with a very American accent. Well, Hey at least House is still good. Actually, I'm being a little mean here. Valkyrie is a pretty good movie; but that's all it is- pretty good. With an idea like- hey, there was once a group of Nazis that tried to assassinate Hitler- the movie would be an epic thriller to end all historical suspense movies. Nope, Singer plays it safe instead and goes for a movie that is thrilling but only pretty good. Cruise, who like Brad Pitt, gets a bad rap for the amount of press he gets, delivers a pretty good performance in this pretty good movie. The supporting cast is all pretty good and the deserve some praise too.
This movie though doesn't go far enough and will unfortunately be stuck in the land of pretty good, sale movies found on the $9.99 rack of your local Wal-Mart.

Overall: Go see this movie because Cruise is a good actor, Singer is a great director and together they made a pretty good movie. Defiantly go see it if you've already seen all the better movies, like Slumdog Millionaire.

really?

2008-12-30T09:36:00.001-06:00

Review: Fallout 3

2008-12-29T22:33:00.002-06:00

Fallout 3: Limited Edition
Developer: Bethesda Software
Publisher: Bethesda Software
Release Date: 10/28/08
Genre: Action-RPG

I've had this review done for awhile now- I just sort of got lazy and kept forgetting to post it. Fallout 3... is epic straight from the beginning. You turn the game on and this is what you see.

Epic.

The haunting sound of that song sets the mood for the entire game. and then- Ron Pearlman. What more could you ask for? Actually, If I had to pick one thing about this game to top my list of things I love about Fallout 3- it would have to be the voice talent. Ron Pearlman, Malcom McDowell, and Liam Neeson- Wonderful. Although, as much as I love Liam Neeson, his character disappears faster than you can say "Captain Picard" (two points to those who know what I am referring too.)

Actually, after that initial scene the game loses some of its "epic-ness," at least in my mind. Once you gain control of your character and are allowed to travel the main world, it begins to feel more and more like a futuristic version of Oblivion, another Bethesda Software game. I really didn't mind that- I wasn't a huge fan of Oblivion and the game play in Fallout made up for what I didn't like. Fallout 3's V.A.T.S system- a system that allows players to focus attacks on a specific body part- is fantastic and I hope future Action-RPG's take the idea and run with it. I can only imagine how much fun it would have been to have the V.A.T.S system while playing Fable 2.

The open world of Fallout 3 feels vast, almost annoyingly so. More than a few times while I was playing the game, I would be travelling for what seemed like an unnecessarily long time only to have some giant mutant pop up out of nowhere and kill me, presumably hiding behind a half dead twig sticking out of the ground, this would then force me to reload the game all the way back where I started. I would then make the trek back only to have the same giant mutant pop up from behind a half destroyed garbage can and smash me into the ground to repeat the process a third time. It was frustrating yes... but at the same time it was satisfying when you beat the hulking monster or found a way around fighting it. Enjoy the concept of enemies sneaking up on you too. The radar system in the game is rubbish. Bethesda decided that radar that warns you of whats behind you is for wussies.

Lets talk about the limited edition version of the game for a moment. I'm a sucker when it comes to extras. Throw in an art book and call it a Limited Edition and I'll pony up the cash. Well, not only does Fallout 3 give you a really amazing art book, that left me in awe over the amount of design that went into the game, but it also comes with a bobble-head of the Pip-boy, the games mascot, a Making-of DVD and a lunchbox tin. Its really awesome and completely worth the extra cash.

I really don't have much to say on the "whats bad" side of the game. It's fun and it has great replay value- since you can always start the game over and play it as a different way. Maybe next time I'll set off that A-bomb in the first city. I think my only problem with it is... after playing it for an hour or so, my attention span decided I'm not interested in exploring another half-destroyed subway system and I feel like I am forcing myself to keep playing.

Overall: This game is fun in a bun and I highly recommend it for both Xbox 360 and PS3, whichever system you own. Not only is it a great game but it's also got some great social commentary. Also- spend the extra money on the Limited Edition; It's worth it.

Happy Whatever

2008-12-27T11:55:00.001-06:00

I hope you all had a happy holidays. I'm still in recovery but fret not- next week will be here soon enough and I will be back to posting then.

Movie Trash

2008-12-23T09:54:00.006-06:00

Seven Pounds
Starring: Will Smith, Rosario Dawson, Woody Harrelson, Barry Pepper
Director: Gabriele Muccino

Seven Pounds is a very emotional movie... I guess. That's what my friends keep telling me- those who have seen it at least. I wouldn't necessarily use the word "emotional" as much as I would use the word "depressing." Yeah... depressing is a good word. Oscar-pandering works good too. Actually, if the plot of this movie actually made sense and didn't have as many holes as it did, I would say this would be a great Oscar nominee. Though, if Smith couldn't win an Oscar for Ali- who knows what will get him the little gold man. Really, it isn't that I didn't like this movie, I was, in the end, entertained. As long as a movie can do that, it's done it's job. I just wouldn't go out of my way to really recommend it to anyone. Especially when I could send people to go see Slumdog Millionaire instead.
Overall: I've always been a fan of Smith. Most of his movies I like. This one probably won't be making it onto my DVD rack, but apparently some of you might like it. Go see it if you want.

Slumdog Millionaire
Starring: Dev Patel, Irrfan Khan, Anil Kapoor, Madhur Mittal, Freida Pinto
Director: Danny Boyle

I'm pretty sure Danny Boyle is in my list of top 10 directors. If you don't know who he is- don't fret- I'm sure you've seen one or two of his fantastic movies: 28 days later, Millions, 28 weeks later, Trainspotting. All great movies. Slumdog Millionaire is easily Boyle's best movie. I might even go as far as to say best movie this year, well maybe not better than Dark Knight, but close. I don't want to spoil anything at all about this movie for you- It's just that... powerful. To watch how a young street kid's life experiences left him with the knowledge to succeed in India's version of Who Wants to be a Millionaire is inspirational. It leaves you in a state of wonder as the story unfolds in its flashbacks of this kid's life.
Overall: I can't stress this enough, go see this movie while it's still in theaters. Not because it won't be as good on a small screen, but because if you miss out on it now, who knows how long it will be before it comes out on DVD. When it does come out on DVD- buy it. It's completely worth it.

The Tale of Despereaux
Starring: Matthew Broderick, Robbie Coltrane, Dustin Hoffman, Richard Jenkins, Kevin Kline, Frank Langella, William H. Macy, James Nesbitt, Tracey Ullman, Sigourney Weaver, Frances Conroy, Tony Hale, Ciaran Hinds, Christopher Lloyd, Stanley Tucci, Emma Watson
Director: Sam Fell, Rob Stevenhagen

The Tale of Despereaux felt a little misleading as I sat there watching it. Despereaux doesn't really feel like the main character of the story. I was reminded of comics like Usagi Yojimbo or cartoons like Samurai Jack where the main story focused on a character introduced in an episode or issue and the main character was just there interacting with them. What I mean is that while the story is supposed to be about Despereaux following his dreams, however it feels like the story is about the rat Roscuro trying to redeem himself after causing the events of the story and Despereaux is the catalyst that allows him to progress through the story. Actually, I found Roscuro, voiced wonderfully by Dustin Hoffman, a more interesting character than Despereaux. In fact, Despereaux really didn't feel that necessary through most the movie- until the finally scenes, where he is needed to show Roscuro that it's OK to go against what he really is and defend his ideals. I'll need to read the book to see if things happen the same. If they do, it would make for an interesting series of comics or books.
Actually, the entire story leaves you with a lot of plot holes. The most important one being that one of the main plot points resolves itself without the help of any of the main characters. One of the conflicts in the movie is that the main city is no longer allowed to make soup after the Queen dies. The city is known for its soup, so when soup is declared illegal the entire city turns gray and rain no longer falls from the sky. Well, nothing really happens to resolve this conflict. During the course of the movie, the castle's head chef suddenly decides that he's going to make soup and then the entire city regains it's lost life. Nothing Despereaux did really affected the chef to start cooking again. He just does it. This is just one of the points that left me confused. Speaking of the Chef- He has this friend that seems to be a magical being that is formed out of produce. They don't explain who he is or why he exists. He just does. It reeks of plot holes.
Overall: Despite the plot holes, which most people probably won't care about, the movie looks beautiful- almost like a water colored picture book- and it has a very strong cast. If you want something to go see this Christmas with your kids, go see Bolt. But if you've already see Bolt- go see Despereaux.

Yes Man
Starring: Jim Carrey, Zooey Deschanel, Bradley Cooper, Rhys Darby, John Michael Higgins, Danny Masterson, Terence Stamp, Sasha Alexander, Rocky Carroll, Anna Khaja, Brent Briscoe, Patrick Labyorteaux, Luis Guzman, Molly Sims, Fionnula Flanagan
Director: Peyton Reed

I could go on forever talking about talking about Jim Carrey. He's fantastic. And Zooey Deschanel- adorable, all the time. Yes Man is fantastically funny thanks to Carrey. Unfortunately the story is a little predictable. Actually, it's completely predictable. It doesn't matter- it's so funny that it's great. One thing I didn't understand was why this movie wasn't rated R. It felt like there was so much potential for some great jokes if they were able to go there. I think they realized that cause every now and then there's a really dirty joke that you don't see coming.
Overall: Yes Man is a really great comedy so go see it and get a good laugh.

CD Review: 8-bit Jesus

2008-12-22T10:13:00.003-06:00

Do you love old video game music? Do you love Christmas music? If you said yes to at least the first question then you should go over here and download the newest album from Doctor Octorok, "8-bit Jesus: Classic Christmas Songs in the Style of Classic NES Games." or even better, donate the $15 for a hard copy of the album and support his great work. Each song takes a different 8-bit video game's music and re-tools it into a classic Christmas song, like "Icarus! The Angles Sing," and "8 Days of Master Robots." My personal favorite is "Have Yourself a Final little Fantasy." At 18 tracks and a price of free (unless you donate), It would be a bad decision to pass up this album. It really is fantastic.

Review: Mirror's Edge

2008-12-18T11:16:00.003-06:00

Mirror's Edge
Developer: EA D.I.C.E.
Publisher: EA
Release Date: November 12, 2008
Genre: Parkour-Sim/First-Person Platformer

Mirror's Edge is one of those wonderful games that reminds me what true innovation is. This parkour-sim/first-person platformer is the love child of baby unicorns and magical rainbows. It's clear how happy I was when I saw this game. Playing it however is another story. I only owned Mirror's Edge for a total of one day. It made me so motion sick that I could only play it for roughly 30 minutes before becoming too sick to even look at the tv screen. That's OK though since the game is only seven hours long. For the time that I did play Mirror's edge though, I found it just a much frustrating as it was fun. The two button control is reminisent of the old days of video games but is so hard to get used to that I could see it turing away a lot of potential players. One button for up movements (jumping, vaulting) and one button for down movements (sliding, rolling). The problem with it is that in a game the needs to to keep moving as fast as possible this control scheme causes you to constantly get fingered tied as you roll off a building when you meant to jump up to a ladder.
Visually, the game is one of the most hauntingly beautiful games I've seen in a long time. In fact- I'd like Squenix to take a page out of Mirror's Edge book and make their next big name RPG more bright and colorful. The almost single color backdrop with bits of red hidden throughout can leave you breathless at times. For players that are not that good at the game though- this type of backdrop would make it very hard to play this game on higher difficulties when it takes away the red and leaves you to guess where all the steps are.
The story for Mirror's Edge is pretty fantastic. The government-conspiracy story may be over done and needs to be put out to pasture but every now and then a game like Mirror's Edge comes around and reminds me of why I love it. Actually, If I had to compare the games story to anything it would be the game Beyond Good and Evil, which is possibly the best game you've never heard of. It will keep you interested enough to keep you playing though all of the games chapters.
Overall: As much as I praise this game... it doesn't feel... right. It feels more like someone came up with an idea (first-person platformer) and then made a tech demo for it, albeit a long tech demo. This is a great step forward in the genre and I can't wait to see where it leads too. Maybe Sonic team will take the idea and use it for the next re-re-re-reboot of the sonic series.

Review: Luminous Arc 2

2008-12-17T18:42:00.002-06:00

Luminous Arc 2 (DS)
Developer: Image Epoch
Publishers:
Marvelous Interactive (JP)
Atlus (US)
Release Dates:
May 15, 2008(JP)
November 18, 2008 (US)
Genre: Tactics RPG

If you missed the original Luminous Arc, then don't worry. You really didn't miss that much. The game was good but it was nothing special, especially when compared to Final Fantasy Tactics Advanced 2, which came out a few months before it and was still fresh in the minds of tactics RPG fans. It was a text-heavy tactics game that really did not offer much to the genre other than some good graphics. Luminous Arc 2 falls into the same problems that its predecessor had but fixes a few problems. Again, If you missed the original game, don't worry. The stories have very little to do with each other. In fact the characters from the first game only make cameos in this game.
The story revolves around a group of friends training to be knights in the kingdoms army who are blah blah blah... it doesn't matter the story is actually pretty pointless. All you need to know is main character can become special "Rune Knight" that gives him access to magical powers by "engaging" witches. All the regular cliche's are there so bring your check list. There is a lot of story too. So much so that the game offers you an auto-advance button so you can just set your DS down somewhere while it shuffles through the constant dialogue that can roughly be summed up with "Go there, fight guy. Now."
As for the game play itself- it's pretty standard for a tactics game. It doesn't go out of it's way to change the genre at all. The most interesting addition is the Engage system that allows the main character to access the powers of one of the witches in your party for a short amount of time- an amount of time that always seems to run out right as you go to fight the main bad guy of the level. The worst part about the battles is the archaic xp system the game uses. For doing a regular attack that doesn't kill an enemy you get roughly 2-3 xp. For killing an enemy you get ten times that amount. This can be rather tedious if you like to play a game like this for grinding and level gaining and pretty much guarantees that one character is going to become ridiculously strong while the rest of the characters slowly fall behind.
When it comes down to it though, despite the mountains of text and the archaic systems, Luminous Arc 2 is actually pretty fun. It's one of the few tactics games that actually uses that DS touch screen really well and it offer some good laughs if you pay attention to the text. Also, apparently developer Image Epoch immediately figured out what it's target audience was because there is a butt load of fan service in this game. So enjoy it.
Overall: Luminous Arc 2 is a great distraction if you've become bored with your better tactics RPGs. It isn't a great game that can stand up to other games in the genre like FFTA2 but it can hold its only, at least for a little while.

Movie Trash

2008-12-16T17:57:00.003-06:00

The Day the Earth Stood Still

Starring: Keanu Reeves, Jennifer Connelly, Jaden Smith, John Cleese, Jon Hamm, Kyle Chandler, Kathy Bates

Director: Scott Derrickson

You know what... I had a whole rant on this movie alone. It was long and we'll developed about how movies these days disreguard great story telling for special effects and explosions. I had great points on how this remake of a classic film is the perfect example of how to use "Hey! Look behind you." tactics to hide the fact that the movie doesn't have an ending. I was going to comapre it to Transformers on how they both perfected the art of hiding incoherent storytelling with big guns and loud noises. I was going to explain that writer David Scarpa ruined a great, smart, touching story and replaced it with another "Human's Hurt Earth Bad." I'm not going to though. This movie is so bad and pathetic that it isn't worth my time to write out a well thought out essay about.
Overall: Kill it with fire then go watch the 1951 original. It might not have the same production value, but that guy in the rubber suit looks a hell of a lot more real than the computer imaged robot in this movie.

Delgo

Starring: Freddie Prinze, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Anne Bancroft, Chris Kattan, Val Kilmer, Malcolm McDowell, Louis Gossett, Michael Clarke Duncan, Eric Idle, Kelly Ripa, Burt Reynolds, Sally Kellerman

Director: Jason Maurer, Marc F. Adler

Delgo is another movie like the pile a crap I just wrote about. It really isn't worth my time to go into why I didn't like it so much. I will explain why I didn't like it though. Here are my two problems with Delgo. One: the story is basically a patchwork doll made from dozens of other, better, animated movies. There is so little originallity to it that I could sit through the whole movie and point out where every scene was taken from. Two: The animation looks like ass. In a day and age where we can make animated movies like Bolt and Wall-E, movies shouldn't look like Delgo does. I understand that Delgo doesn't have as big of budget as Disney- but even still this movie looks like there was very little effort actually put into it.
Overall: Delgo is going to be smothered this coming weekend by three better animated movies: Madagascar 2, Bolt, and The Tale of Desperuex. They might as well takeit out of theaters now and put it on DVD. I mean, it looks like it was animated for a Direct-to-DVD movie anyways.

Nothing Like the Holidays

Starring: Debra Messing, Alfred Molina, Jay Hernandez, Melonie Diaz, Vanessa Ferlito, Luis Guzman, Elizabeth Peña, John Leguizamo

Director: Alfredo de Villa

This week of mediocrety continues. Actually thats not totally true. Nothing like the Holidays was a decently good movie. It fails however because the only thing different between this christmas movie and other christmas movies is the Latin cast. Other than that, theres nothing special about the film.
Actually, one of the youngsters in the movie is lives near me and he did a promotional autograph signing at my local theater. While I was there, I saw the kid and he looked miserable the whole time. It was kind of funny.
Overall: Go see Nothing like the Holidays because its a better movie than Four Christmases. That's really the only reason though.

Insomnia and Podcasts

2008-12-15T16:39:00.003-06:00

Anyone who knows me knows that I've never been a good sleeper. Well, on really bad nights I spend time on the Itunes store downloading Podcasts. I'm not a huge fan of Podcasts because, frankly, I don't like talk radio. I find it boring and really all most Podcasts are, are internet talk radio. Every now and then though I find a few good ones that keep my interest. Last night I found some good ones so I figured I would share them with you.

1Up.com- Broken Pixels: This is a really great video podcast out of 1Up.com about members of the site playing older bad games and commenting on it. It doesn't update very often but when it does all of the episodes are very funny. If you go to check it out, I suggest looking at episode 9- featuring the games Cho Niki and Hooters: Road Trip. The Cho Niki scene was fantastic enough to keep you laughing while other episodes download.
1Up.com- Retronauts: Again out of 1Up, featuring some of the same people from Broken Pixels. This Podcast focuses on retro gaming, as implied by the name. The most recent Podcast I found particularly interesting because it focused specifically on one of my favorite series- Shin Megami Tensai, whose newest game, Persona 4, I'll have a review for at the end of this week. I found it really interesting and they were able to keep my attention long enough for me to reccomend it to you. So they must be doing something right.
Destructiod.com- RetroforceGo!: Another retro-gaming blog. It's really they're comments I found to be well thought out and I agreed with most of what they had to say. It was fun and interesting. the only downside is the newest Podcast is a little long clocking in just under two hours. Still a fun listen too.
Orange Lounge Radio: I haven't listened to this one yet but It was reccomended to me by a friend. Apperently they mention his name in episode 301. It's a little long lasting almost 3 hours but apparently its good.
Sessler's Soapbox: If you've ever watched G4 you know who Adam Sessler is. I find him to be a very intelligent man and respect him a lot. His soapbox podcast is a video podcast where he speaks on a few subjects that he woundn't necessarily be able to talk about on his show X-play. I highly recommend listening to it if you don't already.
Cinematech: Nocternal Emmisons: This is based off of the show on G4. You may have seen it late at night on the station. The podcast is essentially just various videos shown on the show. It's kind of nice to go through the archieves and look for videos of games you really like. I went throught it and downloaded about 20 of the videos, a few which were released back in 2005.

Well that it for these update. If I can't sleep later this week, I'll probably look at some non-gaming related podcasts and if I found anything good, I'll let you know.

We interupt this broadcast

2008-12-12T14:08:00.001-06:00

So this week of reviews is being put on hold until I am no longer sick. I've been pretty bad for the past few days and really can't bring my self to pay attention or stay awake long enough to review anything. That being said when I am better- look back probably next week for reviews on Fallout 3, Mirror's edge, Luminous Arc 2, Persona 4 and all of this weekends new movies.

Week of Reviews Day 3: The Dark Knight Special Edition DVD

2008-12-10T12:58:00.004-06:00

I very rarely buy DVD's anymore. Not because I have a Blue-Ray player, cause I don't. I just don't see many movies anymore that really make me want to but the film on DVD. The Dark Knight was one of the few movies I actually wanted to buy. So I did... or rather my friend did and I ganked it so I could watch it while I'm sick- which I am. I finished watching it and the movie is just as good as it was in theaters... just smaller. If your willing to buy a DVD just because the movie is great go ahead and buy the movie. However, if you are the type of person who only buys a DVD based on the extras, you may want to hold off. There are a lot of pretty interesting extras on the DVD; However, there is no commentary, no deleted scenes, nothing really interesting. It was really disappointing. I mean sure, You still get one of the best movies ever made and a plethora of special features that are kind of interesting. Just not what I want.
Overall: I personally am going to put a pass of the special edition DVD of The Dark Knight. At least until a new special edition is released with commentary and deleted scenes.

Week of Reviews Day 2: Movie Trash

2008-12-09T16:30:00.004-06:00

Cadillac Records
Starring: Beyonce Knowles, Adrien Brody, Jeffrey Wright, Columbus Short, Emmanuelle Chriqui, Gabrielle Union, Mos Def, Cedric the Entertainer
Director: Darnell Martin

Cadillac Records is great movie. It's filled with wonderful performances and great music. That being said, the story isn't the most original. Although, I wouldn't expect it to be. This is a bio-pic about some of the greatest musical performers in history. Anyone who already knows the history of Chess Records knows what happened. Jefferey Wright made a great Muddy Waters and Mos Def as Chuck Berry was hysterical. The Musical performances in the film are wonderful and make you remember why Muddy Waters and Young Walter were the best at what they did. My only problem is with Beyonce as Etta James. Sure her voice is great, but watching her in the movie felt like Beyonce playing Beyonce, not Beyonce playing Etta.
Overall: With some strong performances and great musical numbers, this movie is a definite must see. Go see it right now... with your kids... so they can understand what good music sounds like.

Nobel Son
Starring: Alan Rickman, Bryan Greenberg, Shawn Hatosy, Mary Steenburgen, Bill Pullman, Ted Danson, Ernie Hudson, Lindy Booth, Tracey Walter, Eliza Dushku, Danny DeVito
Director: Randall Miller

I had to watch this movie twice. The first time I finished the film, I wasn't sure I was smart enough to understand it. The second time around, I realized that I just needed to pay closer attention and ignore all the really big words. The reason I got so confused the first time through was that there was so much plot going on that I missed the parts that were actually important while trying to pay attention to the other stuff. Actually, I figured out the second time around that the there is actually three plots in the movie all taking place one after the other. With so many plots going on, its hard to believe that any of the actors did as well as they did. Alan Rickman shines as a womanizing, egotistical, douche bag and Mary Steenburgen is fantastic as his wife. Danny DeVito, who only had a minor role in the movie, was still great. The entire cast was really good and gave good performances.
Overall: The movie may feel like its a little too smart for you, but don't worry. This Tarentino-wanna-be thriller is a decently good movie. It just isn't for everyone though.

Punisher: Warzone
Starring: Ray Stevenson, Dominic West, Doug Hutchison, Colin Salmon, Wayne Knight, Dash Mihok, Julie Benz
Director: Lexi Alexander

You may not believe me but in a way, I actually liked this new Punisher movie. I think it's biggest problem in not drawing in the crowds is that, like the new Hulk movie, fans were already jaded by a poor 2004 film. Like the 2008 Hulk however, this movie shines in having re-casted the title character. Despite his lack of dialogue, Ray Stevenson feels more like the Punisher than Thomas Jane ever did. He's more brutal. Unfortunatly, that really the only thing that's better about this movie than the last one. Bad guy Dominic West apparently has never actually heard an Italian mobster talk before because his cheesy portrayal as one is laughable at best.
That's OK though. The amount of bullets and bodies hitting the ground makes up for the cheesy acting and puts this movie in my top tier for shoot 'em up films.

Overall: Go see Punisher because you might be a little surprised by how good it is compared to what you thought it would be.

Week of Reviews Day 1: The Tale of Beedle the Bard

2008-12-08T10:46:00.003-06:00

I first heard of J.K. Rowling when I was a sophomore in high school. I read Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone in order to complete a book report in my English class. I fell in love with the universe immediately and read the other two books that were out at the time. As time passed, the books got longer and my attention span shrank. I was loosing interest in the series. Then Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows came out and with it a lot of unnecessary plot twists. Despite those twists though, I finished the book and series and was happy and content with the closure that it offered.

When I first heard of The Tales of Beedle the Bard, I was at Borders. It was just a single poster that said the release date for the book. I was excited- a new I.P. from one of this generations biggest names. No more Harry Potter junk. Jump to the release day. I walk into the same Borders and have my dreams crushed by that insipid little Harry Potter logo adorning the top of the cover, something I must have missed when I saw the original poster all those months ago. But despite that, I sat down and read all 93 pages in one sitting... in the Borders.

Now, I was disappointed that it wasn't a new I.P. but I still found the book to be pretty interesting. If I had to compare it to anything, it would be J.R.R. Tolkien's The Silmarillion. Beedle the Bard is a series of short stories and tales from the wizardy world of Harry Potter, as translated by Hermonie Granger, with notes from Albus Dumbledore. Essentially the same idea as The Silmarillion only a lot shorter. Actually, as much as I complain about this not being a new I.P. the stories in Beedle the Bard are all pretty good. None of them hold the same charm as Harry Potter did, but they are all nice little stories that the kids will like.

My real complaint with the book is that it's so short- some Manga's have more pages than Beedle did. For a world as big as Harry Potter's it makes me wonder if the really title of this book should have been "The Tales of Beedle the Bard Vol. 1" cause it feels like there may be more stories to come eventually... if this book makes enough money.

Overall: As Disappointed as I was, the kids will love this book. So will hardcore Pot-heads (Potter fans, not marijuana fans). Go pick it up for them, or just read it in the store like I did.

Movie Trash

2008-12-02T17:16:00.003-06:00

Australia
Starring: Nicole Kidman, Hugh Jackman, David Wenham, Jack Thompson
Director: Baz Luhrmann

Epic is a word that seems to be tossed around rather easily when talking about Australia, Baz Luhrmann's newest film. It does feel epic in a way. It's epic how much it feels like Gone with the Wind. It's epic in length; it feels about half-an-hour too long. It was epic how much I wished there was an intermission of some sort so I could go to the bathroom with out missing anything. That was a concern for me, too, because despite the short comings that I just mentioned this movie is really good. It provides plenty of very strong performances by the main and supporting cast that really draws you into the film. My only real problem with the characters themselves is that they all feel a little shallow and could have probably been developed a little more to match the actor's performances.
Overall: Honestly, as much as I liked this movie, it really is a step down for Luhrmann. It's already been seen that he can do better than this. Go see this movie, both because this movie is good and because if more people go see it- Luhrmann might make more movies.

Boy in the Striped Pajamas
Starring: Vera Farmiga, David Thewlis, Rupert Friend, David Hayman
Director: Mark Herman

This was incredibly hard movie to watch. It's sad and a tear jerker. This story taking place during the Holocaust follows, a young German boy and his forbidden friendship with a Jewish child who lives in a concentration camp. I really don't want to go much into this movie, because, in all honesty, I almost walked out. Not because it was bad, but because it was very hard to watch.

Overall: This movie is supported by an incredible story and performances by all it's actors.
The only thing that makes me want to push people away from the film is how hard it is to watch. If you think you can, go see it.

Four Christmases
Starring: Vince Vaughn, Reese Witherspoon, Robert Duvall, Jon Favreau, Mary Steenburgen, Dwight Yoakam, Tim McGraw, Kristin Chenoweth, Jon Voight, Sissy Spacek
Director: Seth Gordon

I think something happened to Vince Vaughn after Wedding Crashers. First he did Thumbsucker, which was a fantastic movie. Then came a plethora of crap. Then last year someone thought it would be a good idea to put out a Christmas movie before Thanksgiving. The movie was terrible but it apparently made enough money to warrant doing the concept again. Instead of a "comedy" about Santa Claus, this movie is a "comedy" about something everyone dreads during the holidays- spending time with relatives.
I'm not going to lie, I didn't laugh a single time during this movie. I think that's pretty rare for me; especially since the movie had such a strong cast. The problem was that every joke that wound have normally gotten me to crack up was shown during the trailers. So there was nothing there to really surprise me. It was incredibly disappointing.
The only real saving grace of this movie was a few great performances by Jon Voight and John Favreau.
Overall: Unfortunately this is one of those movies that's going to make a ton of money simply because there isn't anything else that new and funny out to occupy the public's mind. For a cheap laugh, go see it. Otherwise, don't waste your time.

Gambit- first images

2008-12-01T16:22:00.002-06:00

X-men fans have been begging for him since the first movie. Well, here he is, in all his glory.

Picture curtosy of IESB.net.

Too much free time

2008-12-01T16:20:00.001-06:00

I don't care how good you are at "Through the Fire and the Flame" by Dragonforce on Guitar Hero 3. Unless you have more free time than this guy- you'll never be better than him.

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Thanks to TheBBPS.com for finding this video.

Things I am Thankful For

2008-11-27T21:31:00.005-06:00

I've been working on this list all day- my initial goal was to reach 100 things- but I kept losing my train of thought (damn you Chrono Trigger). I actually came up with a few really good ones too, but I immediately forgot them as I decided to not write them down.

1. I'm thankful for Scott Pilgrim, who taught me that it's ok to beat up evil ex-boyfriend's as long as it's in the name of love.

2. I'm thankful for Fabel II for making me a King.

3. I'm thankful to know that a post-apocalyptic Washington D.C. isn't completly hopeless.

4. I'm thankful for Ken Akumastu for continuing to make Negima! my favorite manga.

5. I'm thankful that I finally have a portable version of Chrono Trigger.

6. I'm thankful for being able to sit and read about previews of upcoming games and actually feel excited again.

7. I'm thankful for Will Eisner's The Spirit and it's reboot, allowing a whole new generation to discover the greatness of the character.

8. I'm thankful for Chris Nolan. I can sleep again at night knowing that someone finally made a fantastic superhero movie.

9. I'm thankful for Pixar giving the world the masterpiece Wall-E.

10. I'm thankful for Bolt and the understanding that Disney does remember how to make a good movie.

11. I'm thankful that everyone in the world agrees that a re-make of The Day the Earth Stood Still is a bad idea; especially if Keenu Reeves is in it.

12. I'm thankful that the only Marvel Comics movie in 2009 will finally have Gambit in it.

13. I'm thankful that Deadpool is being played by Ryan Reynolds.

14. I'm thankful that pretty much everyone agrees- Beyonce is a terrible choice for Wonder Woman.

15. I'm thankful for Heroes. It's made me enjoy TV again.

16. I'm thankful for "How I met your mother." It's no Seinfeld, but it'll do.

17. I'm thankful for Egoraptor's Awesome series.

18. I'm thankful that my SNES is still my most dependable system.

19. I'm thankful for the DS, my most dependable handheld system.

20. I'm thankful for my DVD player still being more useful then a blue-ray player.

21. I'm thankful for the fact that my book shelves are almost completely full.

22. I'm thankful that the all the turkey I ate hasn't knocked me out yet.

23. I'm thankful for the Turducken. The turducken is the greatest "Fuck you" America can throw at the countries that hate us.

24. I'm thankful that Fable 2 showed me that I too can be famous in places I've never been too.

25. I'm thankful that the technology to shoot portals has finally been developed. Finally I can piss without actually leaving my room.

26. I'm thankful a black hole didn't swallow us up. Or did it?

27. I'm thankful that Civilization Revolutions finally lets me act like the maniacal dictator I've always wanted to be.

28. I'm thankful for Shigeru Miyamoto, Suda 51 and Masahiro Sakurai. Shine on, you crazy diamonds.

29. I'm thankful for Mega Man 9.

30. I'm thankful that enough people loved No More Heroes to get Suda 51 to start work on No More Heroes: Desperate Struggle.

31. I'm thankful for Braid proving that you don't need a huge staff to make a great game.

32. I'm thankful for Internet trends like Zero Punctuation, AVGN, and HAWP keeping me entertained when I can't sleep at night.

33. I'm thankful for everything out of Screwattack.com

34. I'm thankful for my friends and family. You all might not be as awesome as me, but don't worry, I still love ya.

35. I'm thankful for this being my last one, so I can go to sleep.

Dreading Black Friday,
Marc

Movie Trash

2008-11-27T00:10:00.006-06:00

So sorry for yesterday's update. I went to start typing and my computer decided that was the perfect time to tell me my wireless keyboard's batteries were dead. Then, after going to my buddy's birthday party where intense games of Twister and Wii boxing were held, I forgot to pick some up on the way home. Now I have batteries and am ready to tell you my thoughts on this weeks new movies.

Bolt 2-D
Starring: John Travolta, Miley Cyrus, Susie Essman, Malcolm McDowell, Chloe Moretz, Kari Wahlgren, Sean Donnellan
Director: Chris Williams
Bolt is exactly what I needed to brighten up my day. It was colorful, fun, lovable and just a plain old good movie that will eventually find it's way into my DVD collection. I honestly don't need to go on about how good this movie was because all of it was good in its own little way. So lets get just talk about what it was that could have used a little more of a spit shine. The story is, at it's core, just another buddy-road trip movie; a buddy movie with much more memorable characters. Just substitute humans with a dog who thinks it has super powers, a cat who's cynicism is on level with Garfield and the most adorable, comic relief hamster of all time. Actually I have a few problems with Rhino the hamster as a character believe it or not. It seems like he was almost thrown into the movie to make it a comedy. I tried picturing the movie with out him and it was actually somewhat depressing. In fact, the movie doesn't have any really big laughs. Just a lot of really good chuckles. The few big laughs always came from little Rhino. By the end of the film I could already see Disney working on a sequel and/or spin-off cartoon series about Rhino. To be honest, if they kept the same writing team as from the movie- I'd probably watch it.
Enough about how adorable Rhino is. Let's talk about the animation. Like Meet the Robinsons, there is a really great style here that I hope Disney continues with. It's about as close to them reaching Pixar level as they'll get. But as I sat there it really felt like something was off about the animation- I just couldn't put my finger on it. Then I saw the next movie on this post.

Bolt 3-D
Starring: John Travolta, Miley Cyrus, Susie Essman, Malcolm McDowell, Chloe Moretz, Kari Wahlgren, Sean Donnellan
Director: Chris Williams
Watching Bolt in 3-D was almost like watching a completely different movie. Actually, it was like watching the exact same movie (in the same day) but with a much different feel to it. Watching in 3-D felt... right. Like it was the only way the movie should be watched, if you want to really experience it to its fullest potential. It made me excited to see future 3-D films from Disney. Specifically because I think Disney does 3-D right. They don't go out of their way to slam the 3-D gimmick into the ground by having unnecessary random objects come flying out of the screen to give a cheap thrill to the audience as a pick axe comes at their heads ( I'm looking at you, My Bloody Valentine.) It seems that they used the 3-D simply to enhance the animation, and it does in fact enhance it. In ways that I am clearly not smart enough to explain. It really was spectacular.

Overall: Whether you chose 2-D or 3-D, Bolt is a fantastic story with a few minor flaws. It really is no Wall-E, but Bolt can hold it's own against pretty much every other animated film out this year. It is, in the now immortal words of Rhino the hamster, Fully Awesome.

Twilight
Starring: Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Billy Burke, Peter Facinelli, Elizabeth Reaser, Cam Gigandet, Nikki Reed, Jackson Rathbone, Ashley Greene, Taylor Lautner, Kellen Lutz, Edi Gathegi, Rachelle Lefevre, Anna Kendrick, Christian Serratos
Director: Catherine Hardwickeht
Some of you might be surprised to hear this, but in a way I sort of enjoyed watching Twilight. I enjoyed it in that same sort of sense that one enjoys watching a really bad movie on T.v. but is too lazy to change the channel because the remote is just slightly out of reach. I actually had to watch this movie twice. The first time I missed a decent amount of the film because of screaming tweens who were acting like this was the most important event in the history of man (sorry Jesus- but Robert Pattinson is prettier) The second time I made sure to go late at night when most of the tweens would be in bed.
Now for a little reference, yes, I did read the book. It took me 3 days but I muscled through it. I thought the book was nothing more than a trashy romance novel that middle age house moms would read... but with vampires. Actually the best part of the book is that really only Bella views it as a romance. Edward sees Bella as forbidden fruit that he wants to eat but knows that God (or who ever) will kick him out of Eden if he does. So, he keeps her around basically to smell the meal he can't have and make sure no one else can take a bite out of the pie that so rightly belongs to him.
As for the movie- I felt basically the same way. It felt like a trashy romance movie that you would see on lifetime being watched by middle aged house moms... but with vampires. Actually I really only had two problems with this movie that make it a bad film for me.
One: I don't like Kristen Stewart. Sorry, but its just my personal taste. I understand she fits Bella's description really well. That doesn't change the fact that I don't like her as an actress. Adventureland might change my opinion of her a little, but Twilight surely didn't.
Two: The special effects, even for a cheesy vampire movie, are bad. Really bad. Sci-Fi channel original movie bad. A co-worker of mine compared them to a low-budget t.v. commercial.
Two and a half (because this really didn't bother me but it might bother others): It helped a lot that I read the book and I'm sure that 99% of the people seeing this movie also read the book. The 1% percent that didn't however might feel left out during the movie as it a decent number of jokes and references rely on the viewer having read the book. Like I said, I read the book so it didn't bother me. If you didn't read the book though It might have bothered you.

Overall: I bottom lined it for you last night- If you read (and liked) the book, you'll really like the movie. A friend who loved the book described the movie as orgasmic- she knows who she is and if she thinks I'm being too negative with my review, too bad. It's my blog :P. I however won't be going out of my way to ever see this movie again. At least until the release of New Moon, when I need a refresher course on what happened during the first film.

*Bonus*
Transporter 3
Starring: Jason Statham, Robert Knepper, Francois Berleand, Natalya Rudakova, Jeroen Krabbe, Alex Kobold, David Atrakchi, Yann Sundberg, Eriq Ebouaney, David Kammenos, Silvio Simac
Director: Olivier Megaton

I went and saw Transporter 3 today after work so you all get an extra review today since its still fresh in my head.
Transporter 3 is exactly the same as Transporter's 1 and 2. So, if you were expecting anything new- you really aren't paying attention to the genre. Fast chase scenes and really fun, tense battles aside, lets talk about what's bad about the movie sine I already talked about the good (see beginning of sentence).
The new twist in this movie is the bomb attached to Frank's arm. If he goes 75 ft away from the car he explodes. It's a gimmick that leads to a great chase scene and an exciting finale but is not very original. Some one after the film was talking about how he had never heard of an idea like that before. I thought of one movie way back when the trailer first premiered. Speed. It's almost the exact same concept. The bus drops below 50 mph the bus explodes; Frank gets 75 ft away from the car, ~~the bus~~ he explodes. Same overall concept, different execution. There's really nothing wrong with this, just don't call it original.
My real problem with this movie is the main Female lead. I found her obnoxious, annoying, bothersome, a waste of time and unnecessary, but enough about her acting. As a character, about 95% of her "dialogue" if you want to call it that, feels like it was written by a guy who had never heard a woman talk before. It was like he couldn't comprehend what a woman in that situation would say so he had her say only things about food for the whole movie "I'm hungry," lets it (insert food item here)" "I'm hungry again," It was like dialogue written for an NPC in an RPG. Furthermore I found her unattractive. I think she looked like a 12-year-old Russian version of Molly Ringwald with too many freckles to even play connect the dots with. I spent a decent portion of her screen time starring at this one large dot right on her upper lip. It drove me nuts. I almost wish Frank would have let her get shot in the beginning of the film just so I didn't have to deal with her.
Oh and before I end this- I just want to put this question out to all you who have seen the movie already: Was that not the most forced "love" scene you've ever had to sit through? It actually made me feel uncomfortable and it slowed down the pace of the movie.

Overall: for an action film, I've seen worse. It isn't great and I would rather watch the first Transporter again then re-watch this film, but it still deserves at least one watch. Go see it.

Movie Trash- tomorrow

2008-11-25T22:17:00.005-06:00

forgot to buy batteries- wireless keybord died. update tomorrow after work. here are bottom lines.

Bolt: great movie, better 3d movie
Twilight: ok adaptation. dont bother with it unless you've read the book.

hates using the on-screen keyboard,
Marc

Astro Boy

2008-11-23T10:05:00.002-06:00

I swear- He better have machine guns in his ass.

I'm curious to see if they'll keep some of the same deep subject matter as Ozuma's original version.

Astro Boy!,
Marc

Adventurland

2008-11-23T09:37:00.000-06:00

I woke up this morning to find this trailer on Rotten Tomatoes.

I learned three things from this trailer

1. it looks like a fantastic follow up to Super Bad, despite the fact that it also looks like a copy of Waiting.

2. Kristen Stewart can be in good movies (see Twilight review on Tuesday)

3. A "My job sucks" comedy can be good with out Dane Cook (see Waiting and Employee of the Month)

Actually this movie looks really great and I can't wait to see it.

They are not McLovin,
Marc

Ctrl-alt-del the movie?

2008-11-19T11:51:00.001-06:00

Empire Online released the news today that Warner Bros has bought a script called “Control-Alt-Delete,” a comedy about two slacker-type characters in a matrix like world. The script shares a name and basic premise with long time running web comic, Ctrl+Alt+Del by Tim Buckley. It seems Buckley has made no comment as of yet to the movie but I’m sure a satire filled comic will eventually be on the way.

Review: Fable 2

2008-11-19T11:49:00.000-06:00

Review: ~~Fable 1.5~~ Fable 2

Fable 2 is the love child of Peter Molyneux disappointment from the original Fable and his desire to make Fable 2 the best game any one has ever played. To give Molyneux a few points right away- He does not disappoint. Fable 2 is incredibly fun and immersive and a large step-up from Fable, a game I can no longer play. It feels more like a chore than entertainment. That being said, I have a lot of problems with Fable 2, so no more blind praise for you Molyneux.

Story: The story for Fable was that some guy kills your family and leaves you to die. You get taken in by a hero and are raised to become a hero. The story of Fable 2 is that some guy kills your family (albeit a much smaller family this time) and leaves your for dead. Then some strange chick with connections to an ancient hero’s guild takes you in and trains you to be a hero. It seems similar I know, but its cool- this time you can also be a chick.

The repetition here is something I noticed immediately in the game and it’s a feeling that doesn’t go away. While this game certainly is prettier and more fun- it really doesn’t feel like a new game. It feels more like I am playing a better version of the first Fable. Every now and then the story did take an interesting turn; The Spire scene for example which has you watch as ten years of your life essentially disappear. These scenes are rare though and the game generally relies on the “go there, kill that” formula. A formula as old and stale as gaming itself, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing, it just isn’t as innovative as Molynuex wants us to believe.

The Characters: The main characters were all well designed and interesting to look at-especially Hammer, the female of the group who is build like a tank instead of a twig. It’s a little shocking in a gaming world where female characters like Ivy seem to be the norm. I have no problem with any of the main characters designs- Their personalities are another story though. Why does the token black guy have to be angry? Why is the rouge a stuck-up snob? I mean there’s nothing wrong with the personalities they were given, it just feels a little stereotypical.

Speaking of character designs, apparently while designing the characters for this game, Lionhead Studios forgot to develop enough character models to make the NPC’s relatively unique. It made the whole you can get married to anyone gimmick rather boring since there were only 3 or 4 different models to choose from for each city. The same issue goes for enemies and for weapons. Is there a shortage on models? I’m sure Lionhead studios could have bought some off of Blizzard- lord knows they have enough sitting around. But how many times to I have to fight the same three highwaymen and pack of ten Hobbes (little goblin like enemies). There is only so many times I’m willing to fight the same bad guys before I just start running through dungeons ignoring them, which I did at a few points in the game.

Game play: Here’s where the game shines- even if you hate the story and the characters the game play is great. The gun mechanics work, the melee fighting is great and the magic doesn’t make me look like an old geezer (a big issue I had with the first Fable). Despite the fact that I was facing the same 6 enemies every battle, battle was still fun. I loved being able to take out my rifle and snipe a sword out of an enemies head before shooting him square in the family jewels. My only real issue with the combat was the number of times it would randomly lag causing me to take damage while enemies circled around me as I aimed my rifle off into some random bush. It was one of those issues that make the game feel last gen instead of next-gen. And the lag is going to show up… a lot. That being said, if Molyneux did anything right in this game it was the combat. I played the game for a good number of hours just fighting random stuff. But in doing that it leads to yet another problem the game seemed to have. I raked up too much money. There wasn’t anything for me to do with it all. Before I completed the first major story line I already owned all the best weapons and clothing and had bought a decent number of real estate- which just led to more money.

The dog was probably the best addition to this game, sure he doesn’t help at all in a fight but its great just to have that little bit of companionship as you traveled across the world. The dog made the world feel a little bit brighter every time he would hop in the air, bark and lead you to some useless treasure buried somewhere, and yes, it was almost always useless. The dog had a lot of issues though. Sometimes he wouldn’t follow me. Sometimes he would sit and bark at me to follow him to get a treasure… while I was being attacked by twenty bandits all out to kill me. Every now and then he would stand in a door way and block my exit just because he wanted a dog treat. It would get really frustrating. But if I had to choose whether or not to have it again in Fable 3, I would totally take it.

Sound: I turned it off most the time for music on my ITunes, something more interesting like Dr. Horrible’s Sing-a-Long Blog.

Overall: Fable 2 is a great game and it deserves all the praise it has gotten. My real problem with it is that it doesn’t feel like a new game. It feels like Molyneux and Lionshead are trying to pass of a polished up Fable as a new game. To give it an honest grade, I would have to give it 50 out of 100. Dead center simply because at times there feels like there is almost as problems in the game as there is greatness in the game. That may seem harsh but there are a lot of issues I decided not to talk about in this review- simply because when you play the game you might play it differently so that the issues that bothered me, might not bother you. If you own an Xbox 360, you should make an attempt to at least play this game and decide for yourself how you feel. Maybe some of you out there won’t feel as annoyed by some of the glitches as I was.

Championship Gaming Series dying, Gamers don't care

2008-11-19T11:47:00.001-06:00

I’ve always been a hardcore believer that Championship Gaming is bullshit. Not because I’m not good enough to get on a team of any sort but because while I sit there watching a team of uber-nerds take on a team of lady-nerds in a four-on-four game of COD 4, I know that in my heart there’s a team of ultra-nerds sitting in there parent’s basements who could easily take out any championship winner. Honestly, I feel bad for most of the people who actually get into championship gaming because I knew from the beginning it was as doomed as the XFL or extreme ball room dancing. The reason is because it isn’t fun to watch on TV. In fact if you have ever seriously sat down to watch on TV a major league gaming tournament you should have your gamer license revoked. Essentially what you are doing is watching TV of people sitting around playing video games- time that you could be using to play said video games. If you really are desperate to sit on a couch and watch people play video games- go rent The Wizard. I’m not going to say that the gamers on these championship gaming leagues aren’t real gamers- they just don’t deserve any respect. They aren’t better at the games then everyone else- they’re only better then the handful of teams that they are playing against. The CGS website claims “[championship gaming] is an idea that came too early.” Bullshit- it’s just a bad idea.

Playing games instead of watching people on tv playing games,
Marc

Movie Trash: Bond, James Bond edition

2008-11-18T23:50:00.002-06:00

(sorry for the lateness- apparently I didn't his "Publish Post)

So, thanks for all the emails you guys sent about your opinions on the new James Bond Film Quantum of Solace. I'm not going to beat around the bush anymore with my review so let's do this right and in specific categories related to Bond films.

The Story: This was not your typical blow up the world Bond film- though I'm not going to lie, up until they actually revealed what it was the villain was after- I really expected some sort of nuclear silo hidden underneath that dessert. Working for the secret organization, Quantum, bad guy Dominic Greene worked to take control of the water supply of Bolivia. The story actually seems out of place in the Bond universe but in the long run, I feel that it fits well with the newer, more realistic version of Bond.

The Opening Scene: The Opening Scene of every Bond movie I feel is important. It really sets up the entire film- The pace, the amount of action in the film, the main story line for the movie. Goldeneye really shows this the best. QoS though.... The opening chase scene is a mess (I'll talk about this more in a minute), the on-foot chase scene was embarrassing compared to the Parkour filled chase from Casino Royale and the "surprises" were very blatant.

The Title Scene: Every Bond has one- a Bond movie with out some big budget song and music video wouldn't be a Bond movie. That being said, I wish this movie didn't have a song or a video because I hated them both. The song was obnoxious to listen too and the video was nothing more than bond standing in the same position for 3 minutes to a boring dessert backdrop. It felt like I was watching a tech demo for an old Macintosh computer. No scratch that- watching a tech demo for an old Macintosh computer would be more interesting. Actually, aside from the awful opening song, I really liked the music of QoS.

The Bond Gadgets: What gadgets? Did you see any gadgets? Cause I didn't. I saw ridiculous computers that Bond doesn't get to use. Computers, mind you, that feel completely out of place in the more realistic Bond universe. Those computers looked like they were designed by Tony Stark himself. Speaking of those ridiculous computers- for an organization with such advanced tech- how the hell didn't they know about Quantum?

The Bond Girls: After having done two really bad video game movies (Hitman, Max Payne) It's good to see Olga Kurylenko step it up for Bond. She was great- really. But you know what, I think Gemma Arterton what better looking, a better actor, and a better Bond girl as the sexy Strawberry Fields. I would have rather had her as the main Bond girl for the movie then Kurylenko. But I guess this is one of those "who do you think is hotter?" situations.

M: Dame Judy Dench. No one can ever replace you as M. Don't you ever dare leave. I was really excited to see that M had a larger part than usually in this Movie. I always liked the character.

The Bond Villain: Dominic Greene. I actually didn't realize he was the main villain til near the end of the film. I kept sitting there expecting a new big bad guy to pop up towards the end of them movie because lets face it- As a main villain, Dominic is pretty boring. He doesn't even do anything that terribly evil in the film. Sure he orders assassinations and steals an entire nation's water supply but he was just a middle man for the more important members of Quantum. I'm sure the next Bond film will go more into Quantum and show who the real bad guy of this film was.

The Fight/chase scenes: Apparently, director Mark Forster went to the Bourne School of cinematography, because the camera work for the action and chase scenes in the movie are horrendously bad. Most of the time you can't tell what is even happening in the scene. It seems like Forster relies on the audience already knowing that since it's a Bond film- Bond will win.

The Big Finale: I didn't realize that the movie was at the "big save the day" scene until it was already well into it and the building started exploding. Its really sort of anti-climatic. Major bad guy sidekicks just sort of die without even getting a fight. and then- it's over, the bad guys lose. I needed to watch the movie a second time because I though I may have missed a scene somewhere in the middle of the finale. It was disappointing is all I'm trying to say.

Bond: Daniel Craig is a fantastic Bond. He proved that in Casino Royale. But of QoS it seems like Bond throws away his trademark charm and wit for angst and broody darkness. The classic Bond banter that is so wonderful in every film only makes brief appearances in this movie; appearances that don't come up till almost half way into the movie. Bond basically keeps changing between charming spy and brooding assassin. It's a little schizophrenic at times- but it isn't terrible.

Overall: You may notice that I'm being a little vague with some of my criticisms. Well, the reason for that is this- despite every thing I said that may make the movie sound like a pass- this is still a Bond film. and no matter what you may think about this film, it's still better than most action movies to come out recently. You still feel that same rush you get when ever you watch a Bond film and because of that you should go see this movie. When people ask me if I thought the movie was good, I still can't give them a straight answer. But I can tell them that I sure as hell did enjoy it.

The final frontier

2008-11-17T14:40:00.004-06:00

Star Trek trailer is finally out. I'm not going to lie- I really hate J.J. Abrams. I think he's awful and I was really sad when I found out that it was his hands that were going to be directing a show I love (I'm no trekkie, I just love the cheesy-ness of the show). Then I saw the trailer and noticed how there was a distinct lack of the charm of the Star Trek that I love. It looks like they removed it and replaced it with a lot of generic sci-fi action. But maybe that's just my opinion, check it out and decide for yourself.

Beam me up,
Marc

Well... At least they didn't call it "Dance Movie"

2008-11-16T23:04:00.003-06:00

They've got to be close to running out of different genres to parody by now...

Also, at least it's the Wayne's brothers doing this movie and not those hack jobs that made Meet the Spartans and Disaster Movie- Jason Friedburg and Adam Seltzer. The Wayne's brothers at least know how to do comedy somewhat well.

Waiting for Not another "not another" movie,
Marc

Up

2008-11-16T00:15:00.003-06:00

Zomg, I wanna watch this movie now. How did this fly under my radar?

That old man is going to be me when I'm old,
Marc

Need a Little Help

2008-11-14T02:12:00.002-06:00

So, I just got home from seeing the midnight show of Quantum of Solace- the new 007 film. Honestly, I have my opinions already down for the film, but I'm not sure what I think about the movie as a whole. I need a little help from you all out there. Do me a favor and if you see the movie in the next day or two, leave me a message here, email me or just comment to this post with your opinions. I'd like to see how people less critical than me viewed the movie.

Back to playing Castlevania,
Marc

Late Night Boredom

2008-11-13T00:42:00.002-06:00

This is what I watch when I cant Sleep and need something to do.
Have fun.

Take on me- Literal Translation

David Wain, Paul Rudd preform Les Miserable

Paul Rudd impersonation

The Michael Showalter Showalter

We love Eggs (this one is for my cousin)

Deleted scene from The Ten (and again)

Maybe I'll post more ridiculous videos later.

White and tender surround the center,
Marc

Movie Trash

2008-11-12T13:27:00.003-06:00

Sorry for the extremely late post. A series of unavoidable events occurred. There were some really good movies this week. Some great for kids, some great for adults. This week is gonna be a little shorter because I'm really not feeling well (it doesn't help that I just played 10 minutes of Mirror's Edge and now feel like I have to puke.)

House
Starring: Michael Madsen, Bill Moseley, Allana Bale, J.P. Davis
Director: Robby Henson
Essentially, House is the Horror equivalent to Fireproof. A really bad movie filled with heavy Christian tones. I'm surprised Michael Madsen is in it. Not surprised enough to recommend the movie to anyone though. Honestly, this was one of those movies I would have walked out of if it wasn't for the fact that I wouldn't be able to write a fair review if I didn't see the whole thing. I'm not going to get into the story because there really isn't one. A group of 20-somethings get lost, find a creepy house and go inside to call for help. Then they get killed one by one. The different between this slasher flick and others is- you guessed it- heavy Christian overtones. It felt like this would be a bedtime story parents would tell there kids. "And remember little Billy- if you ever sin, God will lock you in an evil house that will kill you."
Overall: I think the tag line alone is enough to tell people how bad this movie is. "The wages of sin is death." Trash it.

Madagascar 2
Starring: Ben Stiller, Chris Rock, David Schwimmer, Jada Pinkett Smith, Sacha Baron Cohen, Cedric the Entertainer, Andy Richter, Bernie Mac, Alec Baldwin, Will.I.Am
Director: Eric Darnell, Tom McGrath
What a great movie for kids. It's no wonder this movie did so well with the only competing kids movies being HSM 3 and the atrocious Beverly Hills Chihuahua. It was fun, colorful, entertaining and dealt out a lot of good laughs. But what else was there to expect from such great comedy minds. Here's what I didn't like though. I could have done without the bringing back of unnecessary characters. Specifically, the old woman who had maybe a quarter of a scene during the first movie. Her scene was cute, great. Leave it at that. Give her a cameo in this movie if you really need to. It bugged me that the movie kept switching between her and Alec Bawldin's character. It left little screen time for either of antagonists. Speaking of Alec Bawldwin's character. I felt as if his character was just sort of tagged on to the movie (though the clear reference of him parodying Scar from the Lion King was pretty enjoyable.) What I mean by that is- They explained his plan, his plan succeeded, then he immediately lost power. There was no real struggle for power once he had gained it from Bernie Mac's character. It wasn't really a bad thing since the movie wasn't terribly long- it just sort of bugged me. One other thing that kind of pulled my strings- Ben Stiller is a great comedic actor, there's no argument there. But I just couldn't shake the feeling that throughout the movie he would switch between Alex the Lion and Zoolander. Again it isn't a bad thing, it just kind of bugged me.
Overall: If you actually need a reason to see it- go see it because it is one of the last movie's Bernie Mac was able to make. Other than that, go see it because it's a damn good animated feature and we won't get another one for two weeks when Disney's Bolt comes out.

Role Models
Starring: Paul Rudd, Seann William Scott, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, Jane Lynch, Bobb'e J. Thompson, Elizabeth Banks
Director: David Wain
David Wain is hysterical. I loved his work with The State; I loved his work with Stella; I loved Wet Hot American Summer. He is great. Actually, that entire group is great- David Wain, Ken Marino, Michael Ian Black, Michael Showalter, Paul Rudd. So is it any surprise that I find Role Models to be the funniest movie this year, and I don't say that lightly. David Wain brings together a great cast for what turned out to be a fantastic movie. David Wain, Ken Marino and Paul Rudd work with each other again to write their second movie together- the first being the movie The Ten. Let me just say this, put Wain and Rudd together in a room and you're bound to get some great laughs. Everyone in this film works great with each other including the young Bobb'e Thompson, who manages to steal the show away from all three of the more experienced actors (Rudd, Scott and Mclovin). My real only downside to this film (an issue I also had with Zak and Miri) I'm afraid people are going to think this is just another Judd Apatow film and skip it thinking it to be just another Knocked up or 40-year old virgin.
Overall: Go see this movie. It's absolutely hysterical. And for me- it hit a little close to home. I have friends that actually do participate in LARPing or as it's called in the movie Laire-ing. It was ridiculous to watch the parodies in the film and think of my friends who actually act like that. You know who you are.

Soul Men
Starring: Samuel L. Jackson, Bernie Mac, Sharon Leal, Sean Hayes, Affion Crockett, Adam Herschman, John Legend, Jennifer Coolidge
Director: Malcolm D. Lee

Samuel L. Jackson is going to die. It was a rumor that started earlier this year after the tragic losses of two amazing people- Issac Hayes and Bernie Mac. The reason it was started was because the three headliners for the movie were those three men. Mac and Hayes then died leaving only one headliner left and a lot of worried Jackson fans. Soul Men is finally out and Jackson is alive and kicking. He should be happy too. I happen to think that Soul Men is one of his better films in recent years. It's easily his best movie since Resurrecting the Champ back in '07. I'm not including Iron Man because that was a 60-second cameo, it doesn't count. But yeah, this movie actually made me a little sad. Mac and Jackson are fantastic performers alone, but together they transcend awesome. Which makes me tear up just a little to know they can never again share the screen. who knows what kind of ridiculous comedies these two could have made with each other. As for Soul Men... Well it hits spot on for comedy. Mac and Jackson yelling at each other and going back and forth made me hit the floor laughing. Their musical performances too were somewhat brilliant in their own way as well. As for the story though, that's a big miss. At it's core it's really just another road trip movie.
Overall: Go see it because before the credits there is a special tribute to Bernie Mac. One that will make you realize just how amazing of a performer he actually is.

What I'm up to

2008-11-10T19:08:00.003-06:00

Another Monday, another new week. I'm slowly working on all the same stuff as last week- Nanowrimo, work and what not. I've been spending a lot of time trying to beat some new games so I can posts reviews for them. Right now I'm working on beating Fable 2 (Xbox 360), Dragonball Origins (DS), Castlevania: Order of Ecclesia (DS) and as of tomorrow Mirror's Edge (Xbox 360).

I can give you a quickie review though for a game I beat the other day.

Saints Row 2
Developer: Volition, Inc
Publisher: THQ

I picked up Saints Row 2 from my local Blockbuster- I didn't buy it because honestly, it isn't my preffered genre. I can say this though: I did enjoy it. Saints Row does everything a GTA-clone should do, it clones GTA. That being said, I'm pretty sure I like Saints Row more than I like GTA.

Story: Saints Row 2 takes place a few years after the events of Saints Row. The game opens in a prison where the main character wakes up after being in a coma caused by an explosion that happened at the end of Saints Row. You escape prison and vow to remake your gang and remind the people of Stillwater city why the 3rd Street Saints were the best gang around.
Pretty simple- throw in some political intrigue and a few good (yet violent) jokes and you've got yourself a pretty good crime-dramadey. Honestly though, I didn't care about the story. Which is a major downside for this game. I didn't feel for any of the characters and really I didn't care which ones lived or died in the end. I called that a downside because if there is one thing that I do like about the newest GTA its the characters. I love Nico. He's great and if it could be done properly, I'd like to see GTA 5 be named- Grand Theft Auto 5: Nico does it again!. The fact that I didn't immediately revive my fallen comrades in battle meant they were basically no use to me. That is of course unless they were necessary for that particular mission. Speaking of the missions...

Game play: The game play of the missions was all pretty standard. steal a car, drive there, pick up this guy, drive somewhere else, kill rival gang members, win mission. There were a few variations of course but most followed this outline. And you know what- there's nothing wrong with that. That's what this sort of game is all about and for awhile it was entertaining. When it starts to get stale the game throws you a curve ball- for example one of the rival gang missions you have to sword fight this one guy and his cronies. His cronies are easy enough, but you are only allowed to use a katana for the whole battle and fighting the guy himself is a bitch. He counters every attack you make and all the game offers as advice is to counter his attacks instead of attacking. Sounds easy right? no, because when you try to counter the game just registers it as a normal attack 90% of the time and his the guy countering your counter. It left me screaming for the mundane standard mission style.
Speaking of screaming- why is it every time I beat a mission I have to go and do a bunch of shitty mini games in order to fill up my respect meter in order to do more missions. There were only a few good mini-games too. Most of them will just drive you nuts and make you want to just wander around killing random people till the cops come and kill you.

Sound: I turned it off. The voice acting was good though- I would have liked more choices for character creation; three choices for a male character and three for a female character.

Overall: I liked Saint's Row. I really did. And I can see a lot of people out there bored of "The New Adventures of Nico" who would really have a lot of fun with this game. Me though... Well lets just say its a good thing I rented it.

teeeeeeeeteeeeeeeeys,
Marc

1 Million Interwebz

2008-11-07T00:01:00.000-06:00

This is worth exactly 1,000,000 Interwebz dollars.

the first 24 hours

2008-11-05T22:27:00.001-06:00

Well, its been just about 24 hours since Barrak Obama became the President Elect of the United States. Doesn't look like the entire country has collapsed. Maybe we will be ok.

Who Let the Obama out,
Marc

Movie Trash

2008-11-04T16:32:00.003-06:00

This was a good week for cinema. Three great movies and one really shitty one. Well, 3/4 is still a passing grade at least.

Changeling
Directed by: Clint Eastwood
Starring: Angelina Jolie, John Malkovich, Jeffrey Donovan, Colm Feore, Amy Ryan, Michael Kelly

Why the hell did it take Clint Eastwood so long to start directing movies. Almost every movie he's directed has been great- with the obvious exception of the movie Blood Work, which I thought was pretty awful. Actually that's not the only movie. Changeling is dangerously close to falling into that same category. Not because it's a bad movie, but because it really doesn't do anything new. Even the story is similar to Eastwood's Mystic River. All of the actors are great, including Jeffrey Donovan- who you might recognize from the amazing show on USA, Burn Notice. It's just... something feels off. I really can't explain it.
Overall: Go see it simply because its a good movie. Though... give it a second thought before buying it on DVD.

The Haunting of Molly Heartly
Directed by: Mickey Liddell
Starring: Chace Crawford, Annalynne McCord, Haley Bennett, Shannon Woodward, Shanna Collins, Ron Canada, Jake Weber

I like to talk about a wide range of movie genres. Action, adventure, action-adventure, drama, fiction, non-fiction, documentaries, mockumentries, romance, comedies, romance-comedies, romance-dramadies, horror, suspense, thrillers. All of them are fun to talk about and fun to review. You know what kind of movies I don't like to review. Crap movies. Pretty much every movie ever shown on Mystery Science Theater 3000 falls into this category. So does The Haunting of Molly Hartly. This movie is absolute shit. It offers nothing in the form of entertainment. It offers nothing in the way of improving the genre. It in fact offers nothing.
Overall: Don't watch this movie. Don't spend money on this movie. Don't tell anyone you want to watch this movie or recommend it to anyone. Trash it with and throw that can into the deepest layer of hell.

RocknRolla
Directed by: Guy Ritchie
Starring:Gerard Butler, Thandie Newton, Jeremy Piven, Chris "Ludacris" Bridges, Tom Wilkinson, Mark Strong, Idris Elba, Tom Hardy, Toby Kebbell

Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrells and Snatch rank up in my top 10 crime movies. RocknRolla... not so much. Don't take that as a bad thing though. If I had to make a top 20 crime films- this movie would in fact be in it. Guy Ritchie gives us all the memorable and lovable characters that we've come to like in his movies. The difference with this movie is that it doesn't give quite as good of a story as the others. All the ridiculous twists and action is there it just doesn't feel as interesting. I kind of blame Gerard Butler. Mostly because Gerard Butler isn't as interesting as Jason Statham; and a Guy Ritchie movie without Jason Statham just feels sort of off.
Overall: Like I said, its not as good as Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrells and Snatch- but it is a good movie. Go see it- if only to support the cause of getting Guy Richie to make more awesome movies.

Zak and Miri Make a Porno
Directed by: Kevin Smith
Starring: Seth Rogen, Elizabeth Banks, Traci Lords, Jason Mewes, Ricky Mabe, Craig Robinson, Katie Morgan, Jeff Anderson

I knew this movie was going to be great ever since I saw "I'm F***ing Seth Rogan," A promotional video filmed for the movie parodying Sarah Silverman's, "I'm F***ing Matt Damon," I don't think I truly knew how great this movie was though until I finally saw it this weekend. Zak and Miri stars Seth Rogen and the beautiful Elizabeth Banks as the movie's title characters. The two best friends are living together (in a totally platonic relationship) but are low on money and are running out of time before they are out on the street. They get the bright idea to film a porno- cause everyone loves to see people putting shit into other people's shit. The idea comes from an amazing cameo by Justin Long, I could seriously watch this movie multiple times just to watch his scene over and over. Add in a rag tag group of ridiculous characters played very well by a bunch of really good comedians and you have a great story.
This movie really shines amongst Smith's already impressive filmography. Sure it's not as hip or cool as Clerks but it defiantly takes the top spot in my favorite Kevin Smith films. My real only request for his next movie- take some risks. The movie plays it pretty safe for a Smith film, not deviating from his normal style. Lets see something new and interesting next time.
Overall: I'll be seeing this movie a few times before it leaves theaters. When it does leave theaters I'll be buying it on DVD. You should do the same. It's fantastic.

What I'm up to

2008-11-04T15:17:00.004-06:00

I swear I'm not being lazy. With Nanowrimo, work, following gaming and movie media, and a little something special I'm working on- I'm rather busy. Just a few interesting things right now.

In movie news

It seems Fanboys finally has a release date- February '09. Not only that but it also has a trailer! That's pretty cool and all, but I didn't notice any mention of a friend who has cancer. So, I'm guessing that the story was changed for the theatrical release. They'll be fine and all but I do Kind of wish that they had kept the original story in tacked.

For all you Smokin' Aces fans- you'll be pleased to hear that the prequel finally got its green light. I don't really know how they could possibly top Ryan Reynolds. Honestly, most critics would tell you the first movie wasn't good enough to warrant a sequel(prequel). Frankly, I agree. I don't think the sequel(prequel) will be nearly as good.

In game news

With the election today, a number of sites have released a few cheeky lists that are pretty fun to read. 1up.com has the top 10 video game politicians and gamesradar.com has the top 7 fictional presidents. check em out.

At Gen Con, gamers raised $17K as a memorial to recently deceased icon, Gary Gygax. A portion of the money was going to go to Gygax's favorite charity- The Christians Children Fund. According to Gamepolitics.com, the charity has turned down the gift due to the association of the people who raised it. Read about it here.

I voted for Patrelli/Nakamura ticket,
Marc

shout-out

2008-11-01T18:58:00.001-05:00

Just a quick shout-out, I'll do a full review Tuesday. Go see Zack and Miri Make a Porno. it's really fantastic and possibly the best movie that Kevin Smith has ever made.

Also National Novel Writing Month began today. Check in sometime this week for the link to a new blog that will host my attempts to make the 50,000 word quota by the end of the month.

Putting Shit into Other Shit,
Marc

Superman

2008-10-30T13:53:00.002-05:00

I've never been a big fan of Superman or the Superman movies. If I really had to think about it my two favorite Superman anythings would be Superman's appearances in Frank Miller's Batman and Robin All-Star and in the movie Iron Giant (Those last lines as the Giant shoots towards the missile always get me.) That's why I was surprised to see that after reading Mark Millar's description of what he would do with a Superman movie franchise- I was excited.

I want to start on Krypton, a thousand years ago, and end with Superman alone on Planet Earth, the last being left on the planet, as the yellow sun turns red and starts to supernova, and he loses his powers

Just the idea of being able to follow the Kryptonians life intrigues me. I would like to see, if Millar did do these movies, for him to actually follow the various canon's of Superman. Or rather I want him to pick one and stick with it. I was really disappointed with Wanted mostly because the director only followed tiny bits of the actual Wanted story line which was really fantastic.

I really don't doubt that Millar could do a good job. It's just... how exactly would you end a Superman movie on such a downer note. I mean- the imagery would be really amazing. It would just be kind of depressing.

Also I think the movie would be more impressive if Millar could manage to keep Superman's powers down to the original three: Speed, Strength and Flight. If he could do that, I'd be impressed. I'll have to pick up a copy of Mark Millar's Red Son and see how he did.

Check out the full article here.

Able to leap small rocks in a single bound,

Marc

Zero Punctuation

2008-10-30T09:29:00.003-05:00

Every now and then I like to pop over to The Escapist and check out the new videos by Ben “Yahtzee” Croshaw. His series, Zero Punctuation is similar to that of the Angry Video Game Nerd; the main difference between the two is that Yahtzee makes fun of new popular games and refrains from using punctuation (hence the name). Now most games he reviews are games I wouldn’t usually wouldn’t enjoy playing .So I get a little joy out of hearing him make fun of them. Yesterday though, he released his newest video highlighting the "new" release from Volition Entertainment- Saints Row 2. I only played the first Saints Row because at the time a friend of mine was trying to get a job at that company and I wanted to check out their games. It was pretty fun but not something I would play regularly. So this morning, after watching Yahtzee’s video, I now really want to go out and rent SR2 (maybe buy it if I like it enough.) The way Yahtzee describes the game makes it seems like fun. So if you’re looking for a game that seems like fun, check out his review and see if you would want to play it too. Also, check out some of Yahtzee's other videos- they're all pretty funny.

I want to be a cousin of The Riddler, Too,

Marc

Movie Trash

2008-10-29T12:03:00.004-05:00

O.M.G. guys. High School Musical 3 is finally out. I'm tooootally going to go see it with all my friends and then sneak into Saw V. That was basically every conversation I heard this weekend from the various groups of teenagers I overheard while at the movie theater. I was actually really disappointed this week, aside from Pride and Glory, most of the new movies were uninteresting, I guess would be the best word to use.

High School Musical 3
Directed by: Kenny Ortega
Starring:Zac Efron, Vanessa Anne Hudgens, Ashley Tisdale, Lucas Grabeel
Before I go on explaining my feelings for this movie, let me just say that I have nothing against director Kenny Ortega, I loved his work on both Ferris Bueller and Newsies. I'm also a fan of Zac Efron. Though I think the HSM series isn't very good, his work on Hairspray was great. I hope his work on the Footloose re-make will be great too. The rest of those kids can go right back to whatever random Disney T.V. show Disney found them in.
Can someone explain to me why the HSM series is so popular. I've seen all three now and I still don't understand why. The characters are all cliche ridden messes, the music is awful (and yet at the same time awfully catchy), and the plots of all three movies are basically the same- Troy and Gabriella want to be together and put on some sort of show while some other force (usually Sharpey) tries to pull them apart for some reason. It really isn't a very good story if you think about it. The acting is always over done and the songs always seem to go on for just a little too long.
But this review isn't about the whole series, its about the third movie. Once again Troy and Gabriella (along with what seems like every person in their graduating class) join in this years school play which apparently is called "Senior Year" because that's original (thumbs up.) Stuff happens and people sing. That's really all that happens. The plot other than that doesn't matter because you knew from the very first minutes of the movie that it was all gonna work out in the end so the suspense really didn't matter.
People don't watch these movies for the stories though, they watch them for the music. So how was it? Well, none of the songs we great until the big "Troy and Gabriella" number that shows up in every movie. That was really the only good song in the film. Other than that it felt like they took the old songs from the first two films and tried their best to rework them into new songs. It was like listening to an artist steal his own music and claim it as new work.
Since this movie was on the big screen I expected some big screen visuals to go along with some of the songs. Well, I should have known better than to expect anything like that. The few special effects that were in the movie seemed like they were done by monkeys who had been trained in Windows Movie Maker. Don't believe me, go watch the scene where basketballs are just falling from the sky and tell me that doesn't look like some high schooler's mid-term assignment.
Overall: When I walked out of that theater, I was even less of a fan of the series than I was before. Not because I really hate the HSM franchise, but because with all the money that franchise has made- you would think this movie would have had a bigger budget. It felt like I paid the price of a movie ticket to go watch a made for T.V. movie. But you know what, this movie wasn't made for me. It was made for the kids- and they'll love it.

Passengers
Directed by: Rodrigo Garcia, Ronnie Christensen
Starring:Anne Hathaway, Patrick Wilson, David Morse, Clea DuVall
I heart Anne Hathaway, she's part of my top five hottest actresses. But even her beauty couldn't save this movie from being nothing better than mediocre. It was a pretty interesting concept. A therapist (Hathaway) is treating five survivors of a plane crash. She falls in love with one of them (Wilson) . The other four suddenly start disappearing and Hathaway thinks that her new boyfriend my know why. Sounds like a decent set of for a mystery-thriller. Unfortunately, its just average. That's it really.
Overall: If you have nothing else to see go see this movie, otherwise just wait till it's on DVD

Pride and Glory
Directed by:Gavin O'Connor
Starring: Edward Norton, Colin Farrell, Jon Voight, Noah Emmerich
I'm not a fan of Colin Farrell. I hated him in Phonebooth, I hated him in Daredevil, I hated him in S.W.A.T, Miami Vice, and Alexander. But every now and then he does a movie I like: In Bruges, Minority Report, and now Pride and Glory. Next to Ed Norton, who I think is good in any role, and this movie was great for me. Sure at its heart it's just another cop drama about corrupt cops but who cares, it was actually a fun movie to watch. It had enough intensity to keep me interested and enough suspense to make me really enjoy the film.
Overall: Go see it. Especially before next week when RockanRolla is released.

Saw V
Directed by:David Hackl
Starring: Tobin Bell, Costas Mandylor, Scott Patterson, Betsy Russell
So I can finally say that I've seen all of the Saw movies. Before this movie was released, I had only seen the first 30 minutes of the first film before turning it off and never turning back. But I've seen them all now and I do feel like I lost a few intelligence points somewhere in between viewings. I won't get into my feelings with the series, because just like with HSM, this isn't a review of the series.
Saw V is easily the worst of the group. Some people have been trying to convince me that it is better than number four but I really can bring myself to agree with that. Simply because these movies are all the same. The main difference is that now the traps are complex and ridiculous where as in the first few films the traps were simple- chop of your leg, shoot that guy and so forth. Now its, crush your hands and then maybe you wont be chopped in half by a giant swinging pendulum.
I would go into it more about how I feel about this movie and the series but Joe Dunn beat me too it. He said that by the end of movie 8 (the final film in the series) we won't care about any of the characters because the character will have been around for at the most a movie and a half. So whoever takes down Jigsaw finally will just be some random character who didn't get killed during the movie. It will be boring and completely anti-climatic for the series. The only way to give the it an interesting ending is that if it turns out that Cary Elwes character shows up right at the end of the last film and to kill/capture Jigsaw.
Overall: Unless your a hardcore fan of the series, trash this film and ever other Saw movie. they really are awful films.

Heroes

2008-10-27T23:30:00.000-05:00

So, episode five of Heroes is over. I'll probably watch it again tomorrow morning on Hulu.com. I've come to the conclusion of a few of the story lines so far.
-Claire doesn't have a story line; the writers just want to put her together with as many hot blond chicks as possible before the end of the season.
-All three of the Paterelli boys have daddy issues.
-Mohinder is no longer an interesting character now that he has thrown away all his pure characteristics established from seasons 1 and 2.
-Parkman is still the best character.
Honestly, I'm not too happy with this season so far. Out of all the characters they have introduced the only interesting one killed himself. Of the returning cast, I really don't like the various directions they are going in. Syler keeps slingshoting between crazy and slightly crazy and Peter is growing more whiny each episode. I dunno. Maybe I'm just losing interest in the show. Whatever my problem is, it isn't going to stop me from watching every week just to see how it ends.

Waffles are delicious,
Marc

Movie Trash

2008-10-22T15:24:00.002-05:00

I would just like to point out here that this post was written yesterday, but apperently my computer doesn't recognize the concept of "Publish Post."

This weekend is probably the greatest weekend in the history of cinema. And by that I mean, it was just a mediocre week turned completely awful by what could be the worst video-game based movie ever made.

Max Payne
Directed by: John Moore
Starring: Mark Wahlberg, Mila Kunis, Beau Bridges, Chris "Ludacris" Bridges
Uwe Boll might actually have some competition this year for worst director in history. I seriously don't even know where to begin on how bad this movie is. Let's start with the casting. Sure Mark Wahlberg looks the part and he's a pretty decent actor. The Departed and Boogie Nights showed me that. But you know what, when I think "Bad Ass," do you know who I don't think of... Meg Griffin. Talk about bad casting. Kunis manages to go from "killer" to "whiney pussy" faster than Fox cancels its good T.V. show. And how about the bad guy; No, I'm not talking about Beau Bridges, who if you didn't know he was the bad guy from the first few minutes- your a moron- I'm talking about Lupino. Much like Count Dukoo in the Star Wars Episode 3, he was killed faster than you can say plothole. Seriously, over-acting is really an understatement.
Can someone explain where the bullet time was? Let me tell you- just because you put it in slow motion... slow motion that could almost be classified as no motion... doesn't mean that the scene is using bullet time.
I'm not even going to get started on how stupid and uniteresting this story was. I stopped paying attention about 5 minutes into the film because apperently director John Moore decided that Max Payne doesn't need a coherent story. God, there is just so much wrong with this film.
Overall: This movie might go down as the worst video game movie in history. I would even go as far as to say it's worse the Super Mario Bros. Cause at least Super Mario Bros. is fun to watch and make fun of. Don't trash is- Stick it in a furnace, seal the ashes in concrete and bury them with those E.T. carts in New Mexico.

Secret Life of Bees
Directed by: Gina Prince-Bythewood
Starring: Queen Latifah, Dakota Fanning, Jennifer Hudson, Alicia Keys
This movie was a sweet little film. Thats really all I can say about it. Honestly. I don't have any snarky comments or words of praise other than those. I don't even have anything to say about how Dakota Fanning isn't as cute as she used to be, because she can still deliver a damn good performance despite the fact.
Overall: I'm a fan of almost every actor in this film and they really didn't disappoint me with this movie. Go see it.

Sex Drive
Directed by: Sean Anders
Starring: Josh Zuckerman, Amanda Crew, James Marsden, Clark Duke
A pretty average start for rookie director Sean Anders. I say average because while this movie was good and very funny at some parts- it was also incredibly predictable and cliche. The best performance in the movie was delivered by James Marsden who is just fantastic in this role as Zuckerman's older brother. Seth Green was surprisingly... meh... The joke was funny at first but it was run into the ground very quickly.
Overall: Go ahead and see it, its pretty good teen-sex comedy.

W.
Directed by: Oliver Stone
Starring: Josh Brolin, James Cromwell, Ellen Burstyn, Elizabeth Banks
I was really curious about this movie when it was coming out. Would it make fun of Bush or would it give a fair look at Bush's life? Well, it turns out that Stone did a great job at both giving people a good laugh at Bush's expense while at the same time giving him a pretty fair shot; instead of running him into the ground like he's done with this country (oh snap!).
Every actor in the film was fantastic- Brolin played an amazing Bush and Banks looked wonderful as Laura.
Overall: Go see this film its fantastic and probably the best movie this weekend.

Facepalm of the month: Don't talk like a pirate day

2008-10-21T15:28:00.004-05:00

Microsoft today declared October 21 to officially be known as... "Don't talk like a pirate" day, playing off of the increasingly popular "talk like a pirate" day. Actually that's only half true. They actually declared today to be "Global Anti-Piracy" day. But the other name sounds more interesting. On this day, Microsoft is trying to establish a day to make people aware of global piracy of software and piracy. They also sued 20 known computer re-sellers. Now, I'm sure their intentions are fine and all, but seriously Microsoft? Who's really going to take you guys seriously. Less then a few hours after your announcement people were already making fun of it; the name of your day has already been changed to something that spoofs it and it'll only be a matter of time before your day becomes an Internet joke. I do award you Microsoft. I award you with a nice big palm to the face, because clearly you don't spend enough time on the Interwebs.

Faceplams for everyone,
Marc

All together now!

2008-10-20T22:18:00.003-05:00

The Beatles are arguably the greatest band of all time. Their music transcends generations and should be the first band subjected to children when they are young so they can understand what good music is. Tonight I went and saw the documentary about the Cirque Du Sole, Love, a show based around The Beatles music. The movie was called All Together Now. Too say the least the documentary was fantastic and filled with all the songs I love. The commentary from everyone involved was really interesting and watching the final project completed in the end was mystifying. I highly recommend seeing this documentary- especially if you are a fan of the Beatles

My Guitar Gently Weeps,

Marc

Obama and video games

2008-10-16T12:22:00.004-05:00

There really isn't a huge idea on Obama's views towards video games. All we know is a mantra that he has used multiple times through out his campaign.

Parents are going to have to show more responsibility. They've got to turn off the TV set, put away the video games, and, finally, start instilling that thirst for knowledge that our students need.

Now that really isn't a negative comment on video games, in fact if anything its a shot against parents who blame video games before their own misgivings.
If you have been paying attention to video game political news lately, you would know that certain Xbox Live games have recently been putting Obama ads in their backgrounds.
The subject of video games hasn't come up much so far in the parties campaigns, but during last night's debates everyone was sure that it was going to, specifically because of these ads. But the moment came and went and McCain didn't jump on Obama for having ads in games that he's telling parents to turn off. I'm a little disappointed. Not because I wanted McCain to jump on Obama but because I want to hear the candidates thoughts on the subject. Neither have really expressed to much interest in talking about the more-or-less non-issue, but it would still be nice to hear their opinions.

I want Obama/Biden, but only because I don't want a President Palin,
Marc

Douche bag of the Month

2008-10-15T22:56:00.001-05:00

Electronic Arts, the big scary bad guy of the video game world. I'm pretty confident in saying that EA is to video games, as Gamestop is to video game retailers. So is it any surprise that this months top Douche bag comes from one of EA's CEO's. John Riccitiello spent nine months desperately trying to buy out company Take-Two Interactive. In that period, Riccitiello attempted a hostile takeover and an unsolicited bid of $2 billion bid. To the average reader of what was happening, it seemed like Riccitiello was pretty desperate to get his hands on Take-Two. But then after nine months, after the release of Grand Theft Auto 4, Riccitiello and EA pulled out with no explication as to why.
Well a reason has finally surfaced. A reason that is as to why Riccitiello is this month's douche bag. According to an interview with the Wall Street Journal on Tuesday, Riccitiello was just trying to be charitable and he only wanted to help Take-Two through the harsh holiday season coming up which can sometimes be unwelcome for some developers.
Really, Mr. Riccitiello... really? You were just being charitable? I'm not even going to call bullshit on this one, cause there is clearly too much of it dripping out of your mouth. Mr. Riccitiello, you truly deserve this award, because your the type of douche bag that would pull out in the middle of the job and then claim that you didn't have to finish cleaning up the person's anus because you were only doing it "for charity".

Brett Ratner's got some competition for Douche of the Year,
Marc

Movie Trash

2008-10-15T00:32:00.003-05:00

This weekend offered a few surprises but really nothing special. It really is just holding all of us over for next week when Max Payne comes out. On a side note- I'm ashamed of you people. How could we allow Beverly Hills Chihuahua to be number one for a third week in a row.

Body of Lies
Director: Ridley Scott
Starring: Leonardo DiCaprio, Russell Crowe, Mark Strong, Golshifteh Farahani
I've been a fan of most of Director Ridley Scott's movies- I still think Man of Fire is one of his best films. Body of lies though... not so much. Here's my first problem with the movie: Leonardo DiCaprio already did a film similar in concept to this. It was called The Departed and its one of the greatest movies ever made. By casting DiCaprio in this role- I was already disappointed with the film, because DiCaprio wasn't as good as he was in The Departed. This problem could have been avoided if DiCaprio wasn't in the movie.
My second problem with this film was that I really wasn't all that entertained. Half way through the movie I wanted to leave and go see if I could find a copy of the movie Traitor. Don Chedle was great in that movie.
Overall: This movie wasn't bad at all, despite what I have said. It's just... I know Ridely Scott can do better than this, look at any of his past hits. Go see it simply because Russell Crowe will make you think he could have been a good choice for Noah Bennet.

City of Ember
Director: Gil Kenan
Starring: Bill Murray, Tim Robbins, Mary Kay Place, Martin Landau
This movie surprised me. When I first saw the preview, I'll admit, I didn't care. Not a bit. Even though both Bill Murray and Tim Robbins were in it. and I am a big fan boi of both of those men. Then as the weeks went on and I continued to see the preview- I slowly grew more and more interested. The movie came out, I saw it and I was in fact pleasantly surprised on how much I enjoyed the film. Murray played a great jack-ass. Robbins roll was not as interesting but he did get a great scene where he gets to act insane. Really it was pretty fun. The whole film had a pretty good feel about it.
Overall: Go see it- you'll enjoy it a lot. I liked it enough to pick up the first book.

The Duchess
Director: Saul Dibb
Starring: Keira Knightley, Ralph Fiennes, Charlotte Rampling, Dominic Cooper
Can someone explain to me why people like Keira Knightly? Sure she was a bad-ass in the Pirates movies. But whenever I look at her I just think she looks like a waifish, British version of the stunningly beautiful Anne Hathaway.
That out of the way, The Duchess was actually a pretty good period piece. But other than that, it really didn't stand out much with me. It was really nothing special.
Overall: I wouldn't necessarily trash this movie, but I wouldn't be running to the box office thinking its going to be sold out either. I'll give it a pass for now and a possible rent it for later once its on DVD.

The Express
Director: Gary Fleder
Starring: Dennis Quaid, Omar Benson Miller, Rob Brown, Clancy Brown
The Express suffers from a similar problem that Body of Lies suffered from. I've already seen this movie. The Express is a movie about Football and Racism. It isn't better than the best movie about Football and Racism though- Remember the Titans. So already it's down a few points. However, The Express delivers some very strong performances from some very good actors and it does manage to hold its own against other sports movies about racism.
Overall: Go see it. Its a decent, fun, entertaining movie.

Quarantine
Director: John Erick Dowdle
Starring: Jennifer Carpenter, Steve Harris, Johnathon Schaech, Columbus Short
Let me start out by giving my opinion on a few things. First thing: I hate horror movies. 99.99% of them our awful bastardizations of all things cinema. Second thing: I hate first person movies. Cloverfield was awful. Blair Witch Project was awful. Disagree- too bad, it's my review. Third thing: I hate American remakes of foreign horror movies. American directors never make the movies nearly as good as the original movies. Don't believe me? Go rent The Ring and watch it. Then go rent the original Japanese version and shit your pants with terror. Fourth thing: This movie... was good.
Yeah... It was good. I know, I don't believe it either. It followed all the things I hate about horror movies; Its a horror movie, it's in first person and its a remake of a Mexican horror film. I couldn't understand it. but there it is.
Overall: If you want to see a good horror movie- yeah this is a definite must see, especially since its the best horror movie we'll get this Halloween. and I say that knowing that Saw V is just around the corner.

Casting Call of Your Life

2008-10-13T17:33:00.002-05:00

Recently at work, my co-workers and I became bored and started casting each other in a movie based off of our workplace. We went around and decided who each and every one of us would be played by. It isn't an easy task to say the least (we all can't be Brad Pitt or Angelina Jolie). I believe in the end we all had a decent number of choices that were eerily right and ridiculous stupid. It was actually quite a bit of fun. I suggest playing it with some friends one day when you're bored. Here's the catch though, you aren't allowed to choose your own person- everyone else has too- and that person has to be alive. It makes it just that more complicated.
Try it out- see who people think you could be; or rather who could be you.
I actually liked my Celeb- Kevin Spacey. My co-workers picked him. I went a few steps further while bored later after work. I decided that young me would be played by a no-name kid, teen/20-somethings me would be played by Josh Peck, Middle Aged me would be Kevin Spacey, and Old Aged me would be Abe Vigoda.

Who would play you through your stages of life, let me know. I think its interesting.

Yes, Abe Vigoda is still alive,
Marc

P.S. After you cast yourself and your friends, try coming up with your life's soundtrack. That's even harder.

Last Trailer Today

2008-10-09T15:04:00.001-05:00

I swear, it really is.

Needs to make more money to afford all this crap,
Marc

Another Great Trailer

2008-10-09T13:03:00.003-05:00

Speaking of really great trailers (see earlier post) check out the newest trailer for The Spirit. It looks more and more awesome every time a new trailer comes out.

I'm Gonna Kill You All Kinds Of Dead,
Marc

Travis Strikes Again

2008-10-09T09:15:00.005-05:00

I don't have much time to type right now, I need to get to Yom Kippur services. But before I go I want to point you in the direction of this video from Tokyo Game Show '08- Here
Yes, that is the teaser trailer for a sequel to what may be the best game on the Wii. I've been playing and re-playing the video non-stop for about 30 minutes now. I might even get a Wii now. Thank goodness for Suda 51 making good on his comment about wanting to make a sequel to NMH.

Your Shinning Armor and Fine Words Wont Get You Anywhere,
Marc

move along

2008-10-08T22:38:00.001-05:00

I'm not feeling up to par today to comment on any of the ridiculous happenings as of late. My brain feels like mush so I'm taking a sick day. In the mean time, think about why people think Second Life is a viable means of advertising? or for that matter think about why people find Second Life interesting at all.

Wheezing my way through life,
Marc

Movie Trash

2008-10-07T22:30:00.003-05:00

This week was pretty good for movies, sort of. While the worst movie Disney has ever produced was released this week, so was a decent number of good films. Let's take a look. On a side note- Blogger seems to be messed up for me right now and it won't let me add any links or formatting. When it's working again I'll update this post.

An American Carol
Directed by: David Zucker
Starring: Kevin Farley, Leslie Nielson, Kelsey Grammer
Does anyone remember back when David Zucker made good movies? Airplane, Kentucky Fried Movie, Naked Gun- all classics. and then... Kevin Farley pretending to be Michael Moore. Apparently that's what Zucker thinks is comedy/parody these days. I'm not going to say any more about this movie, because frankly it isn't worth my time.

Overall: I'd rather have sat through a sequel to the My Boss's Daughter. Burn it with fire and trash it.

Appalossa
Directed by: Ed Harris
Starring: Ed Harris, Viggo Mortensen, Renee Zellweger, Jeremy Irons
This movie was brings a fantastic return to the western genre of film. I haven't seen a western this good since probably Unforgiven. I have always been a fan of westerns ever since I was young and watched Silverado for the first time and Appalossa gave me back those feelings of joy. My only problem with this film is Zellweger. I feel that she probably wasn't the right choice for the love interest for the two main characters and she just feels out of place in this movie.
Overall: Go see this movie, especially if you want to see a good western film.

Beverly Hills Chihuahua
Directed by: Raja Gosnell
Starring: Drew Barrymore, Andy Garcia, Jamie Lee Curtis, Plácido Domingo
I can't even begin to describe my hatred for this movie. Do yourselves a favor, avoid this at all costs. There is nothing good about this film. The funniest part about it is when my group left the theater and began having a conversation on whether or not that movie was more than a little racist.

Overall: Unless you have kids, do not see this movie. Seeing this movie will just make Disney think that the public wants Beverly Hills Chihuahua 2. Trash it.

Blindness
Directed by: Fernando Meirelles
Starring: Julianne Moore, Mark Ruffalo, Danny Glover
I really wasn't too excited to sit through this movie when I went to see it. The concept just didn't sound that interesting to me. A strange epidemic that leaves certain people blind and the government forces them into an internment camp. One woman (Moore) goes into to the camp despite the fact that she can see to stay with her husband (Ruffalo). I probably would have walked out of this movie from boredom, but it remained just interesting enough to keep me in my seat.
Overall: Some people might find Blindness interesting, but I was almost asleep through out the whole film. To me it's in the trash, but someone might find it interesting.

Flash of Genius
Directed by: Mark Abraham
Starring: Greg Kinnear, Lauren Graham, Dermot Mulroney, Alan Alda
Here's my problem with movies like Flash of Genius. Why spend $9 or however much it is to see this movie when I could just go on Wikipedia and find out what happened to this person and what the outcome of the incident was. Flash of Genius solves that problem somewhat by delivering some very solid performances from some very good actors. I really don't want to talk about the plot of the movie because there really isn't much of one. It revolves around one man's struggle to gain the recognition he deserves.
Overall: This movie was a really good film to watch, but probably would bore a younger audience. Leave the kids at home if you're gonna go see this one.

How to lose Friends and Alienate People
Directed by: Robert b. Wiede
Starring: Simon Pegg, Kristen Dunst, Megan Fox, Jeff Bridges
Simon Pegg stars in a movie that honestly should have been better. Pegg plays a moron who goes to work for a famous magazine where he works with Dunst who plays his partner. After meeting superstar Sophie (Megan Fox) Pegg is determined to sleep with her. Like I said, this movie should have been better. In fact, Pegg does give a great performance. The problem is the movie relies too much on slapstick humor instead of the comedic material it has to work with: the ridiculousness of celebrity media. Perhaps Wiede should have sat down with the writers of The Soup to get an idea for what the movie should make fun of. Also- Am I the only one out there who isn't attracted to Megan Fox. She's got a great body and all, but her face leaves a lot to be desired.

Overall: Pegg's performance is good enough to keep you in the seats. Check this movie out if you want a decently good laugh.

Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist
Directed by: Peter Sollett
Starring: Michael Cera, Kat Dennings
Peter Sollett makes his second film a hit in my book. Simply put, Nick and Norah is one of the best high school-romantic comedies to come out since the original American Pie. The only bad thing I can really think of about this movie is that it some how lost to two bad movies for the number one spot this weekend, last weeks Eagle Eye took number two and Chihuahua took number one. Michael Cera once again takes on another role as an awkward teen named Nick, he's in a band called The Jerk offs which consists of him, two gay guys and no drummer. After playing a show one night, Nick meets Norah, who asks him to pretend to be her boyfriend for a few minutes to show up her friend- who just happens to be Nick's recent ex-girlfriend. The night then kicks off with the two of them being pushed off on an impromptu date that lasts to the wee hours of the morning as the two search for a lost friend, deal with ex-relationships and find out that there just might be something more between them than a great sense of music. Really the only problem with this movie, is that I think it may be over the heads of some people. I spent the movie listening to multiple groups of people who really didn't understand what was going on with parts of the movie. If you aren't a moron though you should be able to understand every thing.

Overall: Go see this movie, its fantastic. Also- I'm in love with Kat Dennings.

Religilous
Directed by: Larry Charles
Starring: Bill Maher
I'm really on the fence with this movie. The first hour or so was really good. Around the time that Maher started talking about Islam though the movie takes a turn from funny observational documentary to a sort of attack ad on religions. The movie seems to avoid most rational thinkers of religion and focus on the real fanatics and crazies. My real problem is with Maher though. Mostly the part where I agree with what he has to say, but then feel bad because I know that I'm agreeing with a guy who is honestly a real jerk.

Overall: This movie was a pretty decent insight into some interesting subjects. Go see it if you get the chance, or just wait for the DVD release.

The First Avenger: Captian America

2008-10-06T16:45:00.002-05:00

The plot for the Captain America movie was finally revealed today over at Cinemablend.com The good news is that Captain America will be fighting Nazi's like he should be. I still don't know how good the movie is going to be. No director has been signed on nor has an actor been chosen for the title role. Honestly, I really don't think there is anyone big that is good enough to play the Captain; that being said I certainly wouldn't trust the role to some no-name actor. There was rumor that Matthew McConaughey was going to take the role but lets hope that just stays a rumor.
anyone out their have an idea who should take on the Captain's shield?

Reading up on the Captain's Wiki,
Marc

Samba De Amigo

2008-10-03T21:52:00.000-05:00

While hanging out with some friends tonight, we popped in a copy of Samba De Amigo for the Dreamcast. I forgot how much fun this game was. It has an energy that just makes you feel good inside- and after my last post I definatly needed something to feel good. But yeah, Samba De Amigo is a ridiculous rythm game where you use maraca's to follow the beat. If you think the game sounds familiar, it's because a re-make (updated version) is about to be released for the Wii. The Wii version (according to Nintendo Power) is apperently just as great as the original. So all of you people out there with Wii's who like fun party games, go get it. I know that if I owned a Wii I would.

Samba De Amigoing,

Marc

Jeff Freeman

2008-10-03T13:19:00.004-05:00

Some of you might not know who he is, but Jeff Freeman was one of the main faces behind Star Wars Galaxy; a Star Wars based MMO. Now I never played the game so I really have nothing to say about it. But apparently Freeman was the scapegoat for a huge scandal behind an update that basically caused the game to fail miserably. Fan's blamed Freeman long after he left SOE.
It was announced yesterday through The Escapist that Jeff Freeman committed suicide, he was 39. His brother says that the whole Galaxy debacle wasn't the cause of the suicide and that Freeman had been troubled for a long time.
Some of you might be wondering why I am writing about a subject so...touchy. We'll it's not because I was a fan of Freeman or anything like that. It's because of a post that I saw on a message board. The board and person will remain anonymous. All the post said was this:

Good, [Freeman] deserved it

...

Is this seriously the state we are in right now. No one deserves to die. We are all human and we all deserve life. The fact that this... this... I can't even begin to give a name for this person because every word I try to think of isn't strong enough to describe my feelings for this person. The fact that you believe he deserved to die just because he was a scapegoat to a video game problem is simply unthinkable. You sir are an awful person and it's because of people like you that Jack Thompson can sleep at night knowing that in his own little way... he's right about somethings.

To read more about why people hated Freeman, check out this article from The Escapist.

I would like you all to take a moment to ponder this: When is it enough? Did Freeman really deserve any of the hate he received? And maybe if we, as fans, were a little less hateful towards people who go out of their way to try and bring us entertainment, maybe shit like this wouldn't happen.

Ashamed to call himself a gamer because of you,

Marc

Game Movies

2008-10-01T12:13:00.004-05:00

First there was Super Mario Bros. Then came Double Dragon. Soon to follow was the reign of Uwe. The era of terrible movies based on games was running strong until the announcement of Max Payne. Fans of the game already are praising this movie as the first "good" game-based movie. I however have one question to ask- Why?
If you look at director John Moore's rap sheet- He really isn't much better than Uwe Boll. At least Uwe Boll has enough ratings to give him a score. Moore received a 0% simply because no one seems to care about him. But who knows maybe this will end up being Moore's Dark Knight.
What I really wanted to talk about here was a director I've mentioned my distaste for before in this blog- Brett Ratner. Brett Ratner is a douchebag. He wanted to make a Guitar Hero movie for goodness sake. Well, it looks like he got his wish to make a video game movie, just not Guitar Hero. It was confirmed yesterday that Brett Ratner will be directing the movie God of War. I'm gonna make my perdiction now and say that Kratos will be played by Jackie Chan and Athena will be played by Chris Tucker.

Lining up to not see that movie,
Marc

P.S. Wouldn't it make more sense to have Ratner direct the second movie and have someone good direct the first? I mean Ratner already has a history of destroying good series. I suggest getting Bryan Singer.

Movie Trash

2008-09-30T17:12:00.012-05:00

I was pretty disappointed this weekend with the selections of new movies that came out, all seven of them. None of them were bad mind you, it was just none of them stood out terribly well. It's especially disappointing because it was the weekend of Eagle Eye, a highly anticipated film.

Choke
Directed by: Clark Gregg
Starring: Sam Rockwell, Anjelica Huston, Brad Williams Henke
The newest movie based off of one of Chuck Palahniuk's books. Unfortunately this one isn't as good as Fight Club. You would think that with Sam Rockwell playing a sex addict you would have a recipe for success. Hopefully Palahnicuk's next book-to movie, Invisible Monsters, will be better.
Overall: If you're looking for a good, dark comedy and you've already seen Burn After Reading- go ahead and check this one out.

Eagle Eye
Directed by: D.J. Caruso
Starring: Shia LaBeouf, Michelle Monaghan, Rosario Dawson, Micheal Chiklis, Billy Bob Thorton
Eagle Eye was one of those movies that I was looking forward to. Too bad it turned out to be a huge disappointment. I would like to go on and tell you my real feelings for this movie, but Gordon McAlphin beat me too it.
Overall: Somebody must like this movie, since it took number one in the box office this week. But if it was up to me, it would be in the trash.

Fireproof
Directed by: Alex Kendrick
Starring: Kirk Camron
The only good thing about Mike Seaver is that his sister is totally hot. Honestly, I didn't get this movie. Maybe because I'm Jewish and just saw this movie as religious propaganda. I'd like to see how it'll fair next week against Religulous.
Overall: The nice little bible beaters will love this movie. As for me- its going into the trash bin right next to those Left Behind DVDs.

Forever Strong
Directed by: Ryan Little
Starring: Gary Cole, Sean Faris, Sean Austin, Neal McDonough, Arielle Kebbel
Let me see if I can some up this movie for you. That one kid from Never Back Down is a out of control rugby player on M. Bison's team. He goes to jail where Samwise Gamgee tells him that he can get out of jail if he plays for his team's rival team, which is coached by Harvey Birdman, Attorney-at-Law. Also, Arielle Kebbel is there.
Overall: It's a shame the movie isn't as interesting as I described it. But lets face it- it's a movie about Rugby. Trash it.

Lucky Ones
Directed by: Neil Burger
Starring: Tim Robbins, Rachel McAdams, Micheal Pena
Another movie about how awful war really is. Only this time Tim Robbins and Rachel McAdams are in the Movie. Actually, this movie was really good and more people should have gone to see it this weekend. I'd go as far as to say it was my favorite new movie to come out this week.
Overall: Go see this movie, its surprisingly good.

Miracle at St. Anna
A Joint by: Spike Lee
Starring: no one important
Another movie about how awful war really is. Only this time no one important is in it. Actually that's not totally true. John Leguizamo is in the film. That nice. This movie should have been a lot better. The problem is- its about an hour and a half too long, there are too many narratives and like I said, no one is in it.
Overall: Go see it because it is a good movie with a few big problems. Honestly though, Spike Lee is a better director than this. What happened?

Nights in Rodanthe
Directed by: George C. Wolfe
Starring: Richard Gere, Diane Lane, Scott Glenn, James Franco, Christopher Meloni
Another sappy love story from the guy who wrote The Notebook. My real problem with this movie is that The Notebook was a great movie with a really phenomenal (though totally predictable) twist. This movie is just a sappy love story with a really shitty ending. ZOMG, horses on a beach! Yeah, I get why that's was so special- what really got me about that scene was Lane's ridiculous expressions that came across her face during it. It was like she was in an acting class and her teacher told her to express every emotion she could think of it 30 seconds.
Overall: I really like every actor in this movie. So, even though its a pretty bad movie, I'm gonna say check it out anyways. Bring yourself a date and have yourselves a good time. At least it's a better chick flick than The Women.

First Impressions: The Force Unleashed

2008-09-29T19:04:00.002-05:00

After work the other day, I stopped off at Blockbuster and rented myself a copy of Star Wars: The Force Unleashed. As of right now, I like it. The force powers are fantastic and the story is captivating. My one real problem is the number of glitches and lag the game seems to be experiencing. On multiple occasions now, I've failed missions because the game will lag and I'll get knocked off a cliff. That's not all, a good have a dozen times now the game has just randomly decided to freeze. None of the glitches show up to frequently but when they do they're annoying. speaking of annoying- the battles in this game are incredibly repetitive. If it wasn't for the force powers, the fighting feels almost archaic. It feels like you are playing an old school beat 'em up game instead of a next-gen Star Wars game. I really haven't gotten too far into the game yet, but those are my feelings on the game so far.

Force Grip for the Win,
Marc

gonna' watch me some animes

2008-09-26T13:15:00.002-05:00

This weekend in the box office there are seven new movies. None of them look to spectacular and that's including the new Shia Labouf movie Eagle Eye. So this weekend, instead of watching poor films. I suggest lying down on you couch or bed and watching some good anime. That's what I'll be doing this weekend.

On my list of stuff to watch by the end of the weekend:

Great Teacher Onizuka: the story of Eikichi Onizuka, a gang banger who decideds to become a school teacher. Trust me when I say it's one of the best series I've ever seen.
Kino's Journey: This is one of those really beautiful animes about a girl who travels around the world on her motorcycle.
Gunsmith Cats: Its been forever and a day since I watched this series about two gunsmiths-by-day, bounty hunters-by-night women who live in Chicago. Its fantasitic.

There are a ton of great series to watch out there so like I said, instead of wasting your money on mediocre movies- go watch some anime instead.

Havin' my Health and Being Human is all I Really Need,
Marc